Can a Relationship Between Two Type A Personalities Work?

Sparks can certainly fly when two type A personalities find themselves falling for each other. But are those sparks the perfect amount for a nice romantic fire, or will they end up setting the whole relationship ablaze? Type A people are often hardworking perfectionists and detail-oriented go-getters with high standards who won’t settle for anything but the best. What happens when two such people get together?

“These individuals often thrive in structured, goal-oriented environments and may exhibit a sense of urgency in both their personal and professional lives,” says Ozan Toy, MD, MPH,  chief medical officer at Telapsychiatry. “Type A personalities are relatively common, particularly in high-stress professions such as senior executives, doctors, lawyers, and professors.”

With a double dose of perfectionism, this love story could be epic—or epically intense. Let’s dive into whether this power couple can make it work.

Why It Will Work

People with type A personalities are often highly successful, even if they may experience some burnout or unnecessary self-criticism along the way. They’re super driven, competitive, and often excel in whatever they put their mind to (because they’d stop short of nothing less than perfection). When two Type A personalities come together, it can make for a seriously impressive power couple dynamic.

“A relationship between two Type A personalities is like a dance between two powerful energies. Each partner brings strength, determination, and a clear sense of direction,” says Rachel Marmor, LMHC, chief wellness officer at the PAIRS Foundation. “They often share a deep drive for achievement, a love for challenge, and a passion for excellence. This can create a relationship filled with excitement, mutual respect, and shared goals.”

“Oftentimes, people can have different life goals which can lead to conflict in a relationship. However if both partners are highly motivated and driven then it is likely they will find joy in sharing a desire for achievement,” Toy says.

He adds, “The relationship can also be filled with excitement and activity, as both individuals are typically energetic, focused, and goal-oriented.” Research shows that this ability to achieve goals can have positive mental health effects.

Why It Might Not Work

Every relationship experiences natural ebbs and flows, but when two type A personalities come together things can get a bit fiery. Each has their own set of deep-seated passions and goals, and when these aren’t aligned, then tension and conflict can arise.

Power Struggles

Power struggles are a common issue between this pairing since both parties may feel the desire to lead the dance, set the pace, and steer the ship. “Their combined intensity can fuel a high-stress relationship, especially if both partners are impatient or too uptight,” Toy says. 

Competitiveness 

Type A personalities are naturally competitive, and that can bleed into the relationship. From minor situations (like playing a card game) to larger life goals, two type A people may end up competing with each other. This can become exhausting, but Toy says it can also breed resentment if one partner consistently outperforms the other.

Burnout 

When you pair a type A personality with someone who’s more laid-back, there’s going to be a natural pullback in intensity. However, combine two type A personalities and both may run at full speed ahead without another person there to say “Whoa, nellie.” (Studies have even found a correlation between poor heart health and type A personalities due to the stress they put on themselves.)

“To find no or poor balance is also common among A personality couples,” says Sofie Roos, a relationship therapist. “These relationships tend to lack sleep and have too little free time and too much working time which can lead to stress, burnout and mental health problems such as depression.”

How to Make It Work

Yes! Two type A personalities can absolutely thrive in a romantic relationship—it just takes some work—like any relationship. While the relationship dynamic between two type A personalities can be intense, it can also feel deeply fulfilling if both partners are aligned with life goals, adaptable, and willing to openly communicate.

“It's important to recognize that while both partners are strong, the strength lies not just in leading but also in following,” Marmor says. “The ability to step back, to allow the other person to take the lead at times, is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of deep respect and trust.”

She notes that when two Type A individuals are able to comfortably alternate between leading and following, they ultimately create a beautiful, balanced rhythm in their relationship. 

The issue is that these things don’t necessarily come naturally to type A folks, so it’s something they need to be intentional about. Meditation practices, routinely checking in with one another, and incorporating relaxation techniques and shared leisure time can all help a double type A relationship thrive.