25 Conversation Starters to Get (and Keep!) Someone's Attention

Keep these handy when you’re trying to strike up a conversation

Smiling woman hanging out with friend while having drinks in bar

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Ever find yourself at a party or networking event, desperately trying to strike up a conversation? We’ve all been there, scanning the room, feeling super awkward, and trying to come up with something clever to say. Whether we’re trying to make a great first impression or simply spark a lively conversation, it can be surprisingly daunting.

Luckily, there’s a trick that can make these situations a lot easier. All you need are a few trusty conversation starters in your back pocket to break the ice. Once the conversation gets rolling, it’ll be much easier to keep it going. Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! 

How to Get Someone’s Attention

These are some strategies that can help you get someone’s attention in a conversation:

  • Use their name: There’s something about hearing one’s own name that makes them feel recognized and valued. When you use it naturally in conversation, it creates a more immediate connection with the person. For example, you can ask “So, Sasha, how did you get into rock-climbing?” It’s simple, but it works wonders for getting someone’s attention.
  • Give them a compliment: Compliments are a fantastic way to grab someone’s attention because they immediately create a positive connection, says Ny'L Thompson, MS, LCSW-C, a therapist at ADHDAdvisor. “Sincere compliments make people feel seen and appreciated, and they’re a natural way to break the ice and show that you’re interested in them as a person.”
  • Use humor: A little humor goes a long way in getting someone’s attention. It doesn’t have to be a stand-up routine, but cracking a light joke or adding a playful comment can break the ice and create a fun, relaxed vibe.
  • Share a personal story: Don’t be afraid to share a little about yourself first, says Thompson. “Vulnerability can be a powerful tool in connecting with others. When you open up, even in small ways, it gives the other person permission to do the same.” You can tell them a funny, touching, or gripping personal anecdote. 
  • Ask open-ended questions: Yes-or-no responses can kill a conversation instantly. To avoid this, ask open-ended questions that invite someone to share more information. Asking, “What did you think about the ending of the movie?” draws the person in more than the typical “Did you like the movie?”
  • Be curious, not just polite: Surface-level small talk doesn’t usually leave a lasting impression. Instead, you can dive a little deeper by showing genuine curiosity about the person’s life, thoughts, or passions. Instead of, “How are you?” try asking “What’s something exciting going on in your world right now?”
  • Refer to shared interests: Referring to a shared experience or mutual interest can create an immediate bond with someone, says Tatiana Rivera Cruz, MSW, LCSW, a therapist at ADHDAdvisor.

25 Conversation Starters to Spark an Interesting Exchange

The following are some conversation starters that can help you get someone’s attention and strike up an engaging exchange.

Complimentary Conversation Starters

These are some ideas for unique compliments that can also serve as conversation starters:

  • You have such a positive energy, it’s so nice to be around someone so cheerful.
  • You’ve got such a unique sense of style, I really like what you’re wearing.
  • You have a really refreshing way of looking at things, I never would have thought of it that way.
  • You speak so confidently, I loved the speech you gave.
  • You always seem so calm and collected, it’s amazing how chill you are.

Conversation Starters That Can Help You Get to Know Someone

These are some questions that can help you draw someone into conversation and get to know them better:

  • Tell me something about yourself that would surprise most people.
  • What’s the most fun thing you’ve done recently?
  • What’s your guilty pleasure when it comes to books, movies, or music?
  • What’s the weirdest food combo you actually love?
  • What’s one thing you’ve learned recently that blew your mind?

Conversation Starters That Can Help You Share More About Yourself

These are some conversation starters that can help you share more about yourself and bond with the person you’re talking to:

  • The strangest thing happened to me today…[unusual incident]
  • I heard the most surprising thing the other day…[interesting or shocking fact]
  • I’ll never live this down…[embarrassing story]
  • I laughed so hard at this…[funny meme]
  • I love when…[positive anecdote]

Conversation Starters That Can Help You Bond Over Mutual Interests

These are some conversation starters that can help you connect with someone over a shared interest:

  • I noticed you’re into [hobby], how did you get into it?
  • I’ve also been getting into [hobby], do you have any tips for a beginner?
  • What’s your favorite thing about [hobby]?
  • I’ve been struggling with [issue related to hobby], have you ever had the same problem?
  • What are your goals when it comes to [hobby]?

Conversation Starters That Pique the Imagination

These are some conversation starters that require you and your companion to use your imaginations:

  • If you could choose any superpower, what would you pick?
  • If you could go anywhere in time, where would you go and why?
  • If you could switch places with someone for a day, who would you swap with?
  • If you could ask your favorite celebrity one thing, what would you ask them?
  • If you had to give a TED Talk on something random today, what would it be?

Keep in Mind

Starting a conversation doesn’t have to be intimidating—sometimes, it just takes the right conversation starter to break the ice. With a little effort and creativity, you can turn an awkward silence into a lively discussion. Remember, the key is to be genuine, curious, warm, and positive. 

2 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Boothby EJ, Bohns VK. Why a simple act of kindness is not as simple as it seems: underestimating the positive impact of our compliments on others. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2021 May;47(5):826-840. doi: 10.1177/0146167220949003

  2. Semyonov-Tal K, Lewin-Epstein N. The importance of combining open-ended and closed-ended questions when conducting patient satisfaction surveys in hospitals. Health Policy Open. 2021 Jan 21;2:100033. doi:10.1016/j.hpopen.2021.100033

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By Sanjana Gupta
Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.