'The Golden Bachelorette' Goes Deeper Than Love—And We're All Here For It

If you’ve been as into "The Golden Bachelorette" as I have been, you know that the appeal of this show is unique. I’m not a reality television fanatic in the slightest, nor do I even watch "The Bachelor" with any consistency but the way this slightly tweaked concept manifests itself is something special. 

"The Bachelor," "Love is Blind," "Love Island," or any other popular dating-centric reality TV show is engaging because it highlights the absurdity of our expectations around modern dating. Plus, who doesn’t love watching competitors duke it out in the name of a couple of unimpressive hot people? 

"The Golden Bachelorette" has some moments of romantic competition, sure, but the show's charisma comes down to a combination of wholesomeness, sentimentality, and relatability on a level much deeper than the mere desire to find love—and the contestants I spoke with would heartily agree.

Why Do We Love "The Golden Bachelor" Spin-Offs So Much?

Older adults certainly exist in the reality TV ecosystem, but we’re used to seeing them in contexts as catty housewives revered for their outlandish shows of personality rather than for their intentional self-reflection (we actually prefer them not to be self-aware).

So, when "The Golden Bachelor" aired last September, it was surprisingly a phenomenon. A record-breaking 11 million people tuned in to witness a group of 60+-year-old women on their way to finding love in their golden years. As the show progressed, we witnessed healing, resilience, self-love, and empowerment—the likes of which are rare on a franchise typically about perfectly-coiffed 20- and 30-somethings trying to meet their perfect match.

Yes, the Golden Bachelor himself was a handsome All-American “good guy”—barring some problematic factors that were revealed after the program aired—and yes, the series had its fair share of interpersonal drama as expected. But overall, the magic of the show wasn’t really about Gary Turner at all. It was about witnessing these older women regain their sense of confidence and knowledge that they are still hot, desirable, and worthy of the romantic spotlight. 

This new spin-off now focuses on older men vying for the love of 61-year-old Joan Vassos, which means we get to relive the emotional authenticity of "The Golden Bachelor" through a slightly different lens. While there are certainly some very handsome contenders, this isn’t a lineup of Clooney-coded silver foxes. These are just regular well-meaning dads (mostly) stumbling into the next iteration of their romantic lives. 

Wholesome Content Reigns Supreme

Wholesome reality TV shows are a familiar concept to anyone who watches programs such as "The Great British Bake Off," "Master Chef Junior," or "Love on the Spectrum." The characters are earnest and the drama is low stakes—you really feel like you’re rooting for them rather than being entertained solely by the chaos. There’s nothing wrong with hate-watching a reality TV show or embracing the absurdity, but the emotional benefit of comfort television should not be overlooked. 

“Ultimately, feeling good about someone is more emotionally fulfilling than feeling bad about someone,” says Hannah Owens, LMSW. “Rooting for someone or being emotionally invested in their well-being leaves you feeling hopeful and happy, whereas hating someone—even if it’s fun to hate in the moment—leaves you with an emotional hangover that usually isn’t pleasant. Why waste your time feeling negative about someone you will never meet when you can enjoy someone’s success instead?”

What makes "The Golden Bachelorette" stand out is that the viewer sees a lot more healing and “wins” happening on screen than any reinforcement of negative dynamics. We watch them form close friendships in a house full of 20+ men their age, reflect on the losses of their spouses, and overcome past insecurities in real-time. 

Furthermore, men from the Boomer generation did not grow up in a society where sharing their feelings is encouraged, and yet in the Bachelor Mansion, every one of them has a breakthrough that might not have happened otherwise. 

It Shines Light on a Tough Universal Experience

One of the biggest topics of connection between many of the contestants and Joan Vassos herself is what it’s like to lose a long-term spouse, be it due to early passing or divorce. This overarching theme is so salient because it’s a practically universal experience that doesn’t get much air time. The theme resonates with younger viewers because we all have loved ones who have also gone through this grieving process.

“Grief doesn’t discriminate, not even by age,” says Owens. “And the importance of seeing yourself and your own experiences reflected in the outside world can’t be underestimated. Witnessing other people facing the same kinds of challenges that you are—even if you only know these people by watching them on TV—can be bolstering. It sends the message, ‘They did it, so I can do it too.’”

In one pivotal scene, contestants Charles Ling and Guy Gansert, an ER doctor, sit down together to discuss the passing of Charles’ wife who died of an aneurysm. Charles shares that while it was happening she was bleeding from her mouth, a detail that haunted him to that day as he wondered if he’d done something wrong. Guy explained that the blood most likely came from his wife biting her tongue, and this realization is massively helpful to Charles. 

Contestant Mark Anderson shared, “The ability to have in-depth conversations about grief, healing, and finding a new outlook on life [with other men that were in a similar situation as I was] was fully embraced and it was a very healing experience for me. It placed my mental health needs in a spotlight and provided a means to get to a much better place of healing.”

Representation Still Matters

We’ve made a lot of progress as a society when it comes to the representation of people beyond the White, cishet norms we’re accustomed to. Films and television shows now showcase people of diverse racial, gender, and sexual backgrounds, but diversity in age can still be harder to come by. And we know it’s because ageism is one of the most pervasive and stealthy forms of prejudice.

We’re sold on the importance of anti-aging regimens before our brains have even stopped developing. Same goes for men with the pressure to stay fit and keep from going bald. 

“With this country’s hyperfocus on youth and a pervasive anti-aging culture, especially towards women, The Golden Bachelorette brings value to the concept of aging,” says Owens. “Instead of shaming these men and women for getting older, this show celebrates it—and therefore challenges the social norms that dictate that people (especially women) become less attractive or worthy as they age.”

Body image fits into this conversation too, of course, and one of my favorite scenes from The Golden Bachelorette was when the men performed playful, sexy, Chippendale dances for Joan. Only a couple of these men had muscular physiques but that did not stop the rest of them from strutting their stuff or embracing their bodies as they were. 

“We didn’t feel like older men!” contestant Gary Levingston shares. “We’re matured and seasoned men with a wealth of experience now in need of romantic companionship and, ultimately finding that special someone to walk through life with in our golden years.”

It Puts The Value of Male Friendship Front and Center

What sets the contestants on "The Golden Bachelorette" apart from the individuals on most modern dating shows is the genuine sense of camaraderie and community these older gentlemen come to develop. There’s competition for Joan’s affection, but the added layer of maturity allows them to vie for her hand while still forming deep connections with each other. 

Much of the action on the show centers around the endearing comedy of watching the men learn how to cohabitate and form close friendships in the process. As they get more comfortable, we see them embrace vulnerability and begin to bond over mutual experiences of loss and the difficult process of becoming ready to love someone new. 

One touching moment that highlighted their closeness occurred after contestant Dan Roemer didn’t get the rose he needed to remain on the show. “I'm a little choked up because I'll miss everybody,” says Dan. “I live alone, and living with a group of brothers is pretty cool.” This confession was sandwiched between scenes of them and him saying, “I love you man” before he departed. 

We also know that the loneliness epidemic and the so-called “friendship recession” have had an outsized impact on men. According to a study conducted by the Survey Center on American Life, men today typically have half as many friends as they did 30 years ago, and the percentage of men claiming to have no friends saw a fivefold increase.

We’ll All Find Love in the End

By the conclusion of the eight-week-long Golden Bachelorette journey, Joan gets her proposal and will hopefully live happily ever after with her new fiance, Chock Chappelle—and I’m thrilled for them! But anyone who connected with this show or has been recommending it to others (read: me) will tell you the final rose was never what we were looking forward to each week.

I sincerely hope more dating TV shows can take a page out of this program’s playbook because everyone deserves to find love, in all forms, no matter what age or stage of life they might be in.