Helping Your Spouse Who Has Anxiety or Panic Attacks

It is normal for couples to go through turbulent times together. However, the common challenges that a couple faces can be even more difficult when one partner is struggling with an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, are marked by extreme fears and worry. When one partner is trying to cope with the symptoms and emotions of an anxiety-related condition, it can add stress to a relationship. These issues can potentially cause a breakdown in mutual communication and understanding.

If you are married to or in a relationship with someone who has panic disorder, you may know all too well its impact on relationships. If you have been diagnosed with panic disorder, you may recognize that your symptoms also affect your partner or spouse.

As much as couples can be negatively impacted by one’s struggle with panic disorder, panic attacks, and agoraphobia, they can also work together toward recovery while maintaining a healthy relationship.

Learn About Anxiety Symptoms

The first step to helping a spouse with anxiety is to learn more about what they are experiencing. Explore online resources to learn more about anxiety, what it feels like, and the effects it can have on your partner's day-to-day functioning.

Anxiety can be all-consuming and stressful. Knowing more about the symptoms, causes, and treatments can help you feel more informed when you talk to your partner and more empowered to help them address their symptoms.

Get Additional Support

A partner may feel that they are being the most helpful if they drop everything and only attend to the needs of their partner with panic disorder. Remember that it is pivotal to take care of your own self-care needs. You can't fully be there for your partner if you aren't making sure that your own needs are met.

This means maintaining a social, work, recreational, and spiritual life while remaining supportive of your partner. If you are in a relationship with a person with anxiety or panic disorder, try not to think it is selfish to put emphasis on your own personal needs.

If you want to be truly supportive of your partner with an anxiety or panic disorder, start by taking care of yourself. Some ways that you can do this include making an effort to:

• Engage in your personal hobbies
• Get regular exercise
• Pay attention to your nutritional needs
• Practice relaxation techniques
• Find social support

If you are feeling limited in your social support, consider joining an online support forum or a local group in which you can talk with other partners affected by mental illness. The National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) offers resources and groups through their nationwide chapters.

Put an End to Enabling

You may not be aware of them, but enabling behaviors are common in relationships where a partner has anxiety, panic disorder, or another mental health condition. If your partner has anxiety, you may feel like you are being helpful if you are working to prevent them from from feeling any distress.

However, enabling your partner prevents them from learning how to manage their symptoms better. It is your partner's responsibility to work through that process and come to terms with their condition.

If your partner refuses to seek or accept help, it's important that you address these concerns with them. Keep in mind that you are really helping your partner when you support them in facing reality and encouraging them to learn how to cope with anxiety or panic disorder.

Don't Dismiss Their Feelings

While it is important not to enable avoidance behaviors, it's also vital that you don't minimize or invalidate your partner's feelings. Be empathetic to what your spouse is going through and acknowledge their fears and worries.

Instead, let them know that you recognize they are anxious and that you are there to support them. Consider talking about ways that you might work together to help them feel less anxious in such situations.

Help Them Seek Treatment

Learn more about some of the available treatment options for your partner. You might even check for therapists in your area or online treatment options,

Don't make an appointment for your partner without talking to them first. They need to make the decision, but let them know that you will support them during treatment.

Consider Couples Therapy

At times, a person with panic disorder may decline treatment or even deny that they need help at all. This can be frustrating and hurtful to a partner who wants to have a healthier relationship.

If you are finding that your partner won’t seek out help on their own, it may be time to suggest couples counseling. A couple’s therapist can assist with communication problems and other unresolved issues affecting your relationship.

If your partner resists couples therapy, you can still seek help on your own. A therapist can help you sort out your feelings and determine what is best for you.

Practice Forgiveness

Learning to forgive is often an issue for couples dealing with relationship problems. A person with panic disorder or another anxiety condition may be angry with their partner for not understanding what they are going through.

The partner of the person with panic disorder may develop feelings of resentment, possibly believing that their partner can control their symptoms or being upset when they feel that their partner is not working hard enough to cope with their condition.

Many times a couple cannot move forward until they have forgiven each other for past mistakes. It can be helpful if both partners recognize how they may have been perceived and promise to move forward without bringing up past hurt. By practicing forgiveness, a couple may also be able to let go of pent-up tension and anxiety.

Takeaways

It isn't always to easy to support a partner who is coping with a mental health condition like anxiety. They key is to learn more about their condition, find ways you can offer support, and encourage them to get the help they need. In doing so, you can ensure that you and your spouse continue to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship.