How Forgiveness Impacts Mental Health and Relieves Stress

Forgiving someone who has wronged us is beneficial to our mental health and is associated with lower levels of stress.

This article explores the true meaning of forgiveness, how it affects mental health, and tips for those who struggle to forgive others—and themselves.

What Is the True Meaning of Forgiveness?

We’ve all been hurt by someone’s words or actions; however, moving on or ignoring what happened does not mean we have forgiven them.

The true meaning of forgiveness is intentionally deciding to let go of anger and resentment and feeling empathy and compassion for the person who hurt us. 

The abuse or harmful behavior may still be unacceptable and not forgiven—but if you can empathize with the pain or circumstances the person was facing—your resentment and agony could decrease with this understanding to ultimately reduce your own suffering.

A common misunderstanding of forgiveness is that it is associated with reconciliation. For instance, you are estranged from your parent due to a history of child abuse and neglect. Forgiving them does not necessarily mean you need to rebuild a relationship or even be in contact with them. It can be done by yourself.

What Are the Three Aspects of Forgiveness?

There are 3 aspects of forgiveness: 

Forgiving Another Person(s)

This aspect of forgiveness is the most commonly talked about. It involves interpersonal forgiveness between two or more people.

Some examples of the issue include:

• Betrayal of trust
• Words of insensitivity
• Aggressive behavior
• Physical altercations

Forgiving Oneself

Forgiving yourself for your own wrongdoing may require the most effort since you might feel sadness regarding something you said, did, or didn't do.

Not forgiving yourself can lead to feelings of shame, guilt and self-defeat and detrimental health outcomes such as depression and suicide.

Forgiving the Situation or Circumstance

This aspect of forgiveness involves events that are not within the control of the person. Some examples include a pandemic, natural disasters such as earthquakes, floods, and hurricanes, the death of a loved one, and receiving a diagnosis for a life-threatening condition.

These situations make people angry; they may blame God, and feel helpless, powerless, and hopeless. If a person is unable to forgive, they may develop a negative view of the world.

Ways Forgiveness Affects Mental Health 

There are several ways that forgiveness positively impacts our mental health. 

Improves Mental Health Outcomes

Forgiveness can help reduce depression, anxiety, and major psychiatric disorders.

A longitudinal study on female nurses looked at the forgiveness of others and health and well-being in mid-life. Results showed that forgiveness was significantly associated with better psychosocial well-being outcomes such as positive affect and social integration and decreased psychological distress outcomes such as depressive symptoms. It concluded that forgiveness may have population mental health implications in promoting psychosocial well-being.

Results showed that self-compassion moderated the relationship between lack of forgiveness and depression. The researchers explained that self-compassion may help an individual feel positive emotions and view their painful feelings with understanding, kindness, and a sense of shared humanity which may allow them to forgive more easily.

Lowers Chronic Stress

Ruminating over what someone did or how things turned out can make us chronically stressed. Forgiveness can help create peace in our lives and heal emotional wounds.

A study examined the relationship between forgiveness, stress, and changes in mental and physical health. Using a large, community-based sample of 332 participants, the researchers assessed how their levels of forgiveness, stress, and health fluctuate and interrelate over the course of 5 weeks.

For instance, forgiveness may be a coping mechanism used to relieve the perception of stress that is causing mental health symptoms. On the other hand, improved mental health is associated with decreased stress which increases forgiveness.

Prevents Toxic Anger 

Feeling angry occasionally is completely normal and healthy. However, constantly feeling angry because you are dwelling on a past injustice can become toxic to your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Forgiveness can help us let go of resentment, calm our minds, create peace with ourselves, feel less on edge, and improve our energy levels.

Teaching forgiveness to younger populations may help create a less angry future. A meta-analysis reviewed 20 studies from 10 countries across North America, Asia, and Europe that looked at the role of forgiveness in healthy relationships and youth outcomes. It showed that teaching forgiveness education interventions to children and adolescents had a positive effect on forgiveness and anger.

Rebuilds Self-Esteem

Lastly, forgiveness can have an impact on your self-esteem. Forgiving someone who hurt you by offering empathy and compassion can transform the way you see yourself.

What to Do If You Are Struggling to Forgive

It can be difficult to forgive especially if it is something that deeply hurt you. However, there are ways to help you reap the mental health benefits of forgiveness.

Forgiveness isn’t something that happens overnight. It requires time, effort, and self-work to consciously let go of a painful experience. Talking to a therapist can help you learn to forgive, manage feelings, improve your relationships, and build a healthier and happier mindset.