I Want to Quit My Job But I Can't Afford to—What Should I Do?

Mondays, am I right? If you're feeling pigeonholed at a job you hate, trust us—we've been there. In fact, after the “Great Resignation” and quiet quitting era, it's not surprising that most workers are fed up with their workplace, especially when the vast majority of stories on the subject are anti-employee.

A recent survey by Gallup found that more and more U.S. employees are becoming detached and less engaged with their employers. But it's not so easy for many to give their bosses two-week notices and disappear. A job means healthcare coverage, retirement, and security. Many Americans can't risk their livelihoods for a less-than-favorable workplace, considering most are living paycheck to paycheck.

But how do you leave if you don't have the money to throw your hands and storm out the building a la every office comedy ever? We'll break down what to do when you hate your job, plus offer exit tips and strategies to leave, safety net or not.

Understanding Your Feelings

Let's start with the physical realities of being stuck at a job. A bad workplace leads to poorer mental and physical health, says Jagdish Khubchandani, PhD, MPH, a professor of public health at New Mexico State University. His research has found that those under extreme workplace stress experience physical symptoms like stomach ulcers and brain disorders at higher rates.

“Poor mental health leads to job insecurity, and job and financial insecurity has a huge impact on your mental health," he says "A person who has to worry about food every day and doesn't know where their food comes from [the] next day, how can that person concentrate, go to school, do any productive work? And those who are in chronic job insecurity, even if they don't complain, it does manifest.”

Clinical psychologist Sarah Adler, PsyD remembers the toll her previous job had on her mental health. Before becoming a licensed mental health professional, Adler worked in the financial sector, clocking 80 to 100 hours a week. Though financial support from her partner was part of the reason she could leave, that didn't mean that the financial realities of her job didn't play into her decision.

“I didn't feel like I could quit,” she says “The reason was not only financial because I lived in New York City and had to pay my rent. But it was also from a pride and social perspective. I had no idea if I could get a job doing anything else.”

However, there are people whose professional role is to help people figure out if they should quit a job and how to do so. Sarah Weiler, CPCC, is a UK-based quitting coach who says that to identify why you're having such feelings, it can be helpful to reflect on whether your struggles at work are triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response.

"Some people, when they're having a really difficult situation, will want to quit. Some people will want to stay and really fight it out. And some people will go into paralysis. And what I say to people is, all of those responses are valid and necessary sometimes. But I think it's really important to notice where the flight option is actually saving your life. If you have a toxic boss, if it's a really unsafe environment."

She says that it's also important for people to recognize when they can take space and time in order to come to a decision that is safer and more comfortable.

"I always say to people, decide not to decide. So, sometimes our brain wants to make a decision. And it's like, 'I want to quit so I've made a decision, I want to quit so I'm in control, I want to quit so that I know what I'm doing. Sometimes it is enough to tell our brain, I'm going to decide not to make a decision for a month, or at least for a week, or until I've slept or until I've had a meal."

Accessing Your Financial Situation

If you're ready to go but are concerned about the financial repercussions, it's worth spending the time to get those right. Oftentimes, employer-based supports like short-term disability offerings and employee assistance plans (EAPs) that can supplement your missing income and buy your time are hidden in plain sight.

Harsh Trivedi, MD, MBA, president and CEO of non-profit health provider Sheppard Pratt, suggests looking at the support systems in your workplace. Talk to coworkers. Set up a meeting with HR and go over the company benefits. You don't have to wait until times are tough to find how your company supports its employees physically, mentally, and financially.

“Within the workplace, I will say there's a greater expectation that your employer provides some level of mental health benefits. So I think, first of all, as you're thinking about jumping or moving to another organization, lots of times new employees will say, well, what's the maternity benefit? Not enough people are asking about…the mental health benefit.”

“We're noticing feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and an inability to change the [work] situation that they're in,” he says. “Sometimes, it doesn't matter what the financial stressor is if it's causing you to not want to live or getting you to a pretty dark place. No amount of money is worth your overall health and your livelihood.”

Weiler says that an issue she sees quite often is one where people have a hang-up about using those savings when, in an ideal world, they'd be earmarked for something else.

"If people do have savings, that might be the moment that they say, 'You know what, this is more important right now than the house I want to buy. I need to look after myself and I'm going to choose to put some of the money towards that...Don't be afraid to spend them looking after yourself and getting yourself out of a toxic work situation—just giving yourself that time to find the next place from a calm place."

Exploring Alternative Options

Look at your options outside the workplace before you leave. Research gig-based jobs, side hustles, and even freelance work. Perhaps, there are other positions within your company that you'd prefer over your current role.

Whatever you do decide to do, Adler says it's important to work through as many options as you can, even when choosing how to make your exit. For the record, she doesn't recommend the one-day storm out path she took.

“I think it depends on a lot of factors. What is the job that you're in? How much do they need you? How much do you care that they need you? Are you burning a bridge? Do you need a reference? So really evaluating how harsh you want to be versus how much you need something from [them] and to balance those two sides of the scale… so you have a choice in terms of what actions you're going to take."

"if you're feeling very isolated in your job, and you're like, 'I work alone alone, I just want to quit my job because I feel so lonely. Maybe you're also looking outside of your job for a community. And maybe you're like, 'Okay, well away from my job, I'm going to make a bigger effort to join a choir or be part of a sports team.' And suddenly, you're not being so isolated outside of your job. And suddenly, the isolation in your job is maybe even actually welcome, because you've got that balance.

Should You Get a Part-Time Job?

Sometimes, you can't quit no matter how much you want to. Your finances just won't allow it, but maybe, you can build a safety net in the meantime. That's where a part-time job comes in.

Part-time work can build out an additional safety net. It also presents an opportunity for you to explore a field you can’t at your day job—writers are famous for taking person-facing retail jobs for some extra cash. Having a low-stakes part-time job means you can get some social interaction and creative inspiration while also meeting new people and exploring the world outside of your field.

The cons? Working one job takes a ton of energy, let alone two. This option may just simply be inaccessible to you for capacity reasons and, if that part-time job is in a similar sector to your main gig, you may be adding to burnout.

Should You Try Freelance Work?

More and more people are choosing to freelance or enter the gig economy with jobs like DoorDash or Uber. There are a ton of benefits to these gigs, like building a business or side hustle on your terms.

The cons? Gig economy providers aren’t known for their positive workplace environments and building your own business takes a ton of time, energy, and money. Something you may not have. In business terms, this is called a runway.

Building a Safety Net

Building a safety net can take many forms, including not just your finances, but also your mental health. There are a fair number of resources available, including from governments, about how to approach your finances if you've lost or quit your job. This can range from figuring out the bare minimum that you can live on to accessing your emergency fund, to looking at your current standard of living and whether you may need to make adjustments in the short term to make quitting that much easier.

Mentally, however, it is very important to keep track of your health and identify who you can go to for support. Adler says that there are a number of indicators that may signal it's time to take a closer look at leaving your current work environment.

“I think it's when you really are unable to engage in your activities of daily living, if it is really interfering with your ability to eat, sleep, basic functioning, get dressed in the morning, get out of bed in the morning, take care of your hygiene, if it's impacting your relationships…If it's impacting those things in a way that feels distressing. I think it's a good signal that getting some help [could be beneficial].”

Developing An Exit Strategy

While it seems appealing to march right out and never come back, Adler cautions against it. Instead, she recommends asking yourself deep questions about the job and your future career, as you get closer to the stage where leaving feels like the only viable option.

If you're ruining a relationship between you and your employer—a relationship you'll need for references or connections in the future—by up and leaving, then think about the consequences of never having those connections in your back pocket. While you get to leave that negative job environment and feel satisfaction, a high-and-dry exit comes with a few drawbacks—including the absence of workplace benefits like healthcare and financial security.

If you can, maintain professionalism by giving your manager ample notice (two weeks is standard for most workplaces).

Some other exit strategies include:

• Update your professional materials like resume (CV), cover letter, and LinkedIn
• Change your LinkedIn status and quietly let recruiters know you're open to new opportunities
• Prepare for the exit interview with reasons why the workplace was a bad fit
• Adjust your spending and savings ratio accordingly to a non-working lifestyle
• Attend networking events and connect with relevant professionals in your field

Bottom Line

Remember, if you both hate your job and your bank balance, know that you are not alone. Experts say that it's important to communicate with those in your work and personal life to identify when your mental health might be slipping and to identify the supports available to you. This can help maintain some level of mental stability while you search for your next opportunity.

And don't lose sight of other opportunities and career paths for you, ones that aren't checked with mental anguish, says Trivedi.

“The most important part of the conversation is to never lose hope,” he says. “Your health and well-being are worth more than any job or any paycheck. Get help before it's too late.”