5 Tips For Dealing With a Difficult Coworker and Restoring Your Peace at the Office

For those of us who work in an office environment, it's pretty standard to have at least one co-worker we don't vibe with. This could be the office Gossip, the one who never puts in the work or offloads their responsibilities onto others, or someone who is just plain rude. Whatever the issue may be, sadly, we all have to keep getting paid and showing up every day to work with them.

So if avoiding them isn't an easy option, what's the best way to deal with these stress-inducing energy drainers? Fortunately, there are a few "best ways" that can work, in terms of reducing their impact on your stress levels.

"Dealing with a difficult co-worker can be challenging and can take a toll on our emotional wellness if it's not managed well, or handled appropriately," says Rachel Goldman, PhD.

"Remember there's always things in life that are out of our control (such as other people's behaviors) but there are also always things in our control, including how we react and our own words and actions."

Of course, everybody's situation is different, but there are some basic universal options for dealing with difficult coworkers.

Go to H.R.

Whether you have a formal Human Resources department or just one person who supervises everyone, there should be someone who's 'in charge' of employee peace-keeping. You can document your concerns and take them to this person.

If you do, be specific about what is upsetting you. For example, don't say, 'This person is driving me crazy!', say, 'This person habitually asks me to do their work while they're on their phone, or whatever the case may be.

Lead by Example

One of the best ways to urge a frustrating co-worker towards better behavior is to set the standard of behavior yourself. That might mean not responding to uncomfortable remarks they make or gossip they try to spread, and calmly changing the subject.

Sometimes when another person in your circle is behaving poorly it can be a chance to do some self-reflection to make sure you're also being a healthy communicator and a good example.

Address the Offending Party Directly

The next time someone does something that you object to, in an assertive (rather than aggressive) way, speak up. Politely, but firmly, say that you don't appreciate the inappropriate jokes, don't want to do their extra work, or tell them whatever else is on your mind.

You may not get a positive response at first, but you also might be surprised. They might not even realize they're doing those things that upset you. And you'll also get the benefit of speaking your mind, and will at least get the message out there for everyone's consideration.

Let It Roll off Your Back

If the problems don't affect you too strongly, you may choose to get better at ignoring them. This may seem difficult at first, but there's something to be said for choosing your battles.

If you are dealing with someone who tells your secrets around the office, stop sharing them. If you're dealing with someone who has offensive body odor, stay at a comfortable distance.

Look for a New Job

If you've talked to your co-worker, human resources, and everyone else there is to talk to, you can't live with the problem, and nothing else can be done to change it, and this person causes you significant daily stress, you may consider changing jobs.

It's sad if things have to come to this, but there may be a better job out there for you, and you wouldn't have been seeking it out if you didn't have a difficult co-worker prompting you to make a change. There are potential positives in every situation. The trick is to find them.