How to Get Rid of Negativity and Stress

Several habits can increase our resilience to stress, including meditation, exercise, focusing on the positive, and surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive people, But truly effective stress management involves creating a mix of habits and thought patterns that minimize the stressors encountered in life and increase the ability to cope with the stressors that must be faced.

Cutting out stress whenever possible is always a good idea. Letting go of self-defeating habits, such as engaging in self-sabotage, is another important strategy. Here we explore how to get rid of negativity and stress with proven strategies for reducing both. 

Releasing grudges, negative perspectives, toxic relationships, and other vessels of negativity may feel difficult at first, but once we've started to release our grip, letting go becomes increasingly easier.

1

Let Go of Grudges

Thoughtful man with hands behind his head

Tara Moore / Getty Images

When someone wrongs us, we may respond by holding a grudge. But grudges can harm us mentally and physically, making forgiveness an important step to releasing negativity.

There are many benefits of forgiveness, such as reducing heart attack risk, improving sleep, and even lowering levels of anxiety and depression. But some people may not realize how much they are holding onto, or they may not know how to let go of the grudge. 

When wondering if we might benefit from letting go of negative emotions or resentment toward someone else, it can help to ask ourselves:

  • Do I find myself ruminating about things that have happened in my past? 
  • Am I holding onto anger from my younger years—either anger at myself for not doing things differently or at others for things they did intentionally or unintentionally that affected me in a negative way?

If we answer "yes" to either of these questions, finding forgiveness for ourselves or others can help us get rid of the negativity or stress we feel.

2

Get Rid of Clutter

Interior Of Modern Living Room
Niklas Skur / EyeEm / Getty Images

Ever walked into a messy room (or a messy house) and just felt tired? Clutter can also act as an energy drain that creates stress, even if we don't consciously realize it. Other hidden costs of clutter include stifling the creation of one's inner self and reducing mental well-being.  

If clutter is causing higher levels of stress and poorer psychological well-being, it may be time to prioritize simplification and streamlining—both in our spaces and our lives. Get rid of things that aren't needed and find a place for everything else.

Sometimes the clutter in our homes can't be cleaned up easily, such as when living with others and it's their things that are lying around. In this case, creating a clutter-free room we can go to where we feel truly relaxed is helpful.

It's beneficial to pay attention to how we feel when we walk into our own home at the end of a long day. If we feel stressed instead of at ease, it may be time to get rid of clutter, releasing negativity with it.

3

Drop Negative Attitudes About Ourselves or Others

Senior woman standing in snowy landscape, looking up
ZenShui/Laurence Mouton / Getty Images

Like subtle grudges, we may not be aware of limiting beliefs we have about ourselves or others. This includes negating our abilities, minimizing our successes, and thinking we can't do something before we even try—even if it's something we really want to do. 

In the same vein, some people begrudge others' successes. They feel minimized by the other person's triumphs, even though they logically know this isn't necessarily true. 

One way to turn this around is to learn to recognize negative thinking patterns and cognitive distortions, and then change them. Changing the way we think can change the way we feel and help us have more positive attitudes toward ourselves and others.

4

Identify and Cut Out Tolerations

Computer screen covered in sticky notes
Peter Cade / Getty Images

Tolerations are those things in our lives that drain our energy and create stress, but we live with them anyway. Examples include having a kitchen drawer that won't stay closed, a vehicle that has become unreliable, or a closet full of clothes that no longer fit.

Sometimes it is family and friends who are energy drains, reducing our emotional energy when we interact with them.

In some cases, we may not realize that these tolerations are adding stress to us each day, causing us to feel worse mentally. So, the first step to reducing them is to become aware that they exist in the first place.

This requires taking a moment to think about what (or who) drains our energy and patience. From there, we can create a plan to eliminate or reduce these tolerances in our lives, cutting out untold stress and releasing negativity in the process. 

5

Say No to Toxic Relationships

Woman frustrated at lazy roommate using digital tablet on sofa
JGI/Jamie Grill / Getty Images

Relationships can act as powerful resources for coping with stress, or they can be prolific sources of particularly heavy levels of stress. 'Friendships' that are conflicted, negatively competitive, or otherwise lacking in trust can create more stress than relationships that are unfriendly but stable. 

Individuals in an unhealthy relationship, whether romantic or a friendship, can minimize stress by working to create a healthier dynamic. This might include setting boundaries, building trust, or communicating without judgment.

If that doesn't work, learning when and how to let go may be necessary. Not all relationships can be improved, making it important to walk away to protect one's own mental health.

Press Play for Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares ways you can learn to build mental strength.

Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

Take Small Steps to Release Negativity

Letting go of stress-inducing thoughts and lifestyle patterns isn't easy, but it can be easier than one thinks. And it can be addictive—once we start letting go of some of the stressors in our lives, it becomes easier to let go of more.

When starting this process, it's helpful to choose one thing at a time to focus on for a few weeks (once a month is a good place to start). Then we can move on to another stressor once we’ve let go enough of the first one to feel some relief. 

It's also important to recognize our progress along the way. We should congratulate ourselves on the progress we make as we make it, and remember that in the end, it will be worth the effort to have greater peace.

Individuals who are struggling to let go of negativity may benefit from professional help. A therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional can provide strategies to get rid of negativity and decrease stress.

3 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Johns Hopkins Medicine. Forgiveness: Your health depends on it.

  2. Roster CA, Ferrari JR, Jurkat MP. The dark side of home: Assessing possession 'clutter' on subjective well-being. J Environ Psych. 2016;46(6):32-41. doi:10.1016/j.jenvp.2016.03.003

  3. New York State. Teen dating abuse awareness and prevention: What does a healthy relationship look like?

Elizabeth Scott, MS

By Elizabeth Scott, PhD
Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.