7 Steps for Making a Life Plan

Have you ever wished that life came with a user manual? Maybe you’ve wanted to cut stress in your life, exercise more, or change your diet. Or maybe you want to make a career shift or get into (or out of) a relationship. 

Now, think about why you haven’t made those changes yet. Changing your life is often easier dreamed than done. But when you come up with a plan you can follow, the process can be smoother and less stressful. Having a plan also makes it more likely that the life changes you want to make will stick. 

Have you got a goal (or two or three!) in mind? We may not be given definitive guides to life, but we can make life plans that are personalized to our needs and goals. Read on to learn how to plan your life in seven steps.

Step 1: Look at What's Not Working

When you're getting ready to make a life plan, you first need to figure out what you want—and that includes what you want to change. It can be challenging and overwhelming to even know where to start. So, that's where it will help to "take stock" of what your life is like right now and be honest about what's not working for you.

Your family, friends, job, wellness, finances, home environment, and many other areas of your life can be both sources of joy and stress. Take the time you need to think about each part of your life and be honest about how they affect you (positively and negatively).

Keeping a journal can help you explore the different parts of your life and identify sources of stress. You can make a list, narrative, mind map, or use another text/visual format to get a better picture of how things are going and highlight areas you want to work on.

Step 2: List Your Values

Think about what your values. How are those areas of life currently working for you and helping you? When you're making a life plan, work around your values—the things that are important to you and that you want to maintain in your life. 

Do you value family, but find yourself spending too little time with your family because you're working overtime at a job you really don’t even like? Do you value fitness, but find yourself watching TV at the end of the day because you’re exhausted and just want a distraction?

To be sure you're spending your time on what really matters to you, think about what you value most in life. Pay attention to how you express your values through your behaviors. That will mean looking at the things you do in a day and asking yourself if you truly value those activities or not. 

Step 3: Look at the Future

Don’t limit yourself to looking out for a few months—think long-game. Think about where you want to be in the future and what goals you can set now that will help you get there.

What do you want your life in the next few months, years, or even decades to look like? When you've got a picture in your mind, work backward. Going in reverse from your goal will help you clarify what steps you can take right now and in the immediate future to get closer to your longer-term goal. 

For example, if you want to be working in a new field in a few years, maybe now is the time to make connections in that industry and or find training that you could do in your off-hours. 

Step 4: Lay Out (Small) Steps

Compare where you'd like to be in the future to where you are right now. Then, break down the path from "here" to "there" into small, manageable steps that will feel easier to take. 

Laying out the steps doesn't just make it less overwhelming; it also helps you stay present and able to experience your success, which helps keep you feeling positive and motivated. 

At this pace, you’ll also be better able to see where you may need to change your plan as you go along, and can consistently put one step in front of the other and move forward.

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Step 5: Tear Down Road Blocks

As you are planning your steps forward, review your list of "what's not working" and think about what's holding you back from your goals. Find the blocks in the road, then get ready to start tearing them down.

Maybe you really need less stress in your life today to even get a sense of where you want to be in the future—let alone take the steps needed to get there. 

Go back to your list. Now it's time to make some cuts!

Do you see a lot of commitments, relationships, and other parts of your life that are not absolutely necessary? Do these things drain you rather than make you feel energized and motivated? That’s where to start crossing items off your list. 

Of course, there will be things you wish you could cut out, but you can’t. And that’s OK—that’s life! Instead, try to find ways to reduce these things as much as you can—be it your time, energy, or whatever else you’re giving to these things that aren’t giving much back. 

Step 7: Build Structures and Put Up Boundaries

You want to create systems in your life that will reinforce the changes you want to make. When you have some supportive structures in place, you won’t have to supply all of your own momentum. 

For example, if you want to start working out more often, joining a gym can make the goal feel more “official," and the monetary investment could serve as motivation (especially on days when you really don’t feel like going!). 

If you want to relieve stress, find a self-care practice that you like and make it part of your daily routine. For example, buy yourself a soothing bullet journal or app, and set a calming reminder on your phone to nudge you to write for a few minutes at the end of the day. 

If you want to spend more time with your partner, put a regular date night on your calendar. If you feel like your schedule is full of “to-do” lists and appointments, use that to your advantage!

Just like you wouldn’t want to be late for a work meeting or skip your yearly dental check-up, you might find that framing quality time with your partner as something that’s “not to be missed” can help you practice making it a priority.

Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves that our relationships with others are just as important—if not more so—than all the “have-to-dos” in our lives. That might mean scheduling our loved ones in until we learn that these special times matter, and we shouldn’t feel like we have to brush them off in favor of other responsibilities. 

You also need some boundaries that can act like a protective fence or force field around your time and energy. 

It can be easy to lose track of your needs when you’re constantly putting the needs of others ahead of your own. And if you fall into this pattern so often that you get stuck, the lines between you and someone else can get pretty blurry. What you think are your needs, values, and goals might actually be the other person’s. 

Remember that it’s OK to say no—especially if the thing you’re being asked to take on or do doesn’t align with your values or would actually put you farther from your goals rather than helping you get closer to them. 

It’s also OK to not immediately agree to something and take the time you need to think it over and be sure that the choice you’re making is one that you feel good about. Instead of immediately saying “yes,” try: “Thank you for thinking of me! Can I think about it and get back to you?”

Step 7: Ask for (and Accept) Help Along the Way

You can’t make these changes alone. Asking for—and accepting—help from others will help you stay motivated and on track.

Allowing others to support you could mean delegating tasks that are overloading you or joining a support group to connect with others who are also working on making changes in their lives.

Ask yourself what you need to make your plans happen and what you need to do to make sure they stick. Look to others for ideas and inspiration if you’re not sure what resources you need, or where you find them. 

Check in with yourself regularly to make sure you’re moving in the direction that you want to go in. If you find yourself letting go of what you value and feel like you’re straying off track, gently guide yourself back to where you’re putting what you value most into action in your life. Being able to refocus is the secret to making life changes last.