Why Do I Feel Empty Inside?

Feeling empty inside can make you feel like nothing matters. You might feel like there's nothing that connects you to other people and the world around you anymore. At times, you might feel like you hardly exist.

This feeling of hollowness in your life may last only a few days or weeks if you're going through a difficult time. However, some people have feelings of emptiness that last for months or even years.

If you’re feeling empty inside, you may not understand why you feel this way. You may wonder if feelings of emptiness mean that you’re depressed. 

While depression can be a sign of feeling empty inside, it’s not the only reason. In this article, we'll talk through some reasons that you might feel emptiness in your life and what you can do to feel better.

Why Do I Feel Empty Inside?

Even though they are by definition a feeling of nothingness or absence, feelings of emptiness can have a big effect on your life. There are many emotional, mental, and physical reasons that you might be feeling empty inside—and you might find that there isn't just one thing in your life that's making you feel this way.

Physical Causes of Feeling Empty Inside

You might consider empty feelings as being “in your mind,” but there are actually some clear physical causes of emotional emptiness.

You’re Not Sleeping Well

Sleep is one of the most important things for your physical and mental health. If you’re zapped for energy and not able to recharge with consistent, quality, sleep, you could end up feeling totally spent and empty. 

A Harvard University expert said that “neuroimaging and neurochemistry studies suggest that a good night's sleep helps foster both mental and emotional resilience, while chronic sleep deprivation sets the stage for negative thinking and emotional vulnerability.”

Translation? If you’re not sleeping enough, your brain will have a much harder time helping you navigate life’s ups and downs.

You're Exhausted

Not getting enough sleep can definitely make you feel run down—but being so busy all day that you can’t wait to hit the hay at night can lead to exhaustion.

Here’s an example: You’re a caregiver for your aging parent on top of working and taking care of your family. You struggle to find a moment in the day for yourself and it feels like no matter how much you do in a day—your list of to-dos is endless. No matter how much you sleep, you still wake up exhausted. Over time, you feel so run down that you actually stop feeling much else at all—you start to feel empty. 

Research supports this example, too. Studies have shown that informal caregiving can lead to stress and burnout.

Here’s another example: You’ve been working non-stop on multiple projects at work and your brain never gets a minute to rest. At first, you were excited about the challenge but after weeks of “putting your nose to the grindstone,” you’ve lost your enthusiasm. You’re so overtired that you just feel totally “blah” about your job and your life.

You might not recognize right away that feeling empty inside is tied to being worn out. Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you’re working through the process: 

• Do I need more support from my partner, family, friend, or neighbor? Do I want to talk to someone “neutral” like my doctor or a mental health provider?
• Have my goals changed? (E.g., work, school, life)
• Are my children’s activities requiring more than I have to give right now? (E.g., lots of driving)
• Do I have health concerns that need a lot of management? Am I feeling overwhelmed by taking care of myself? 
• Is my job asking too much of me? Is a volunteer project or hobby more than I can take on on top of my work responsibilities? 
• Do I feel like it’s time to make a big change at school or work? (E.g., pursuing a different major/degree, looking for a new job, reducing work hours)
  

When you’re thinking about these questions, try not to get upset if you find that the answer to one or more of them is stopping. “Quitting” is not a sign of weakness—it can be a sign that you’re aware of and acknowledge that you’re human and you have limits. Honoring your personal “bandwidth” is necessary for taking care of your physical and mental well-being.

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What to Do If Being Exhausted Is Making You Feel Empty Inside 

It can be hard to put on the brakes, but feelings of emptiness and exhaustion are a big “stop sign” which means it’s time for some self-care. Here are a few things to try to do when you’re burnt out: 

• Ask for help (be it from a partner, your friends, a neighbor, and/or a mental health professional)
• Try to see what you can get “off your plate” (e.g., reduce your workload, look for caregiver respite, have someone help you with errands or household chores)
• Create boundaries and stick to them (e.g., stop checking emails and your phone at a set time at night; go to bed and wake up at the same time no matter what day it is). 
• Find calming things to make a part of your day (e.g., deep breathing exercises, a meditation practice)

Mental and Emotional Reasons You Feel Empty Inside

You can also feel empty inside because specific life events trigger the feeling, or you’re going through circumstances that are challenging you emotionally. 

The same situation or life circumstance will not affect everyone the same way. What makes you feel empty may not have that effect on someone else. Try not to compare yourself to others or tell yourself how you “should” feel about something that you’re going through.

Boredom

Being bored and unsatisfied with your daily life can actually make you feel like there’s a void inside you that can’t be filled.

Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW and author of four books says that you may feel empty because you’re “feeling purposeless, [and] you are going through the motions and not truly knowing what would give you meaning.”

To combat the emptiness, make a list of activities used to give you a sense of joy, fun, and meaningfulness in your life. You don’t have to get back to all of them at once, just start with one or two that you can try adding to your day. 

Even just being aware of what is positive in your life and taking the time to be thankful for it can have a powerful effect on your sense of mental well-being. Research has shown that gratitude can increase your happiness.

One way that you can practice gratitude is to have a journal or app on your phone where you try to record even one thing that made you happy every day. The simple act of reflecting can help put your feelings into perspective, and on days when you’re feeling especially down, out, and empty, looking back at the list of happy-making things in your life can give you a boost. 

You’re Lonely

It’s pretty common to feel empty or like there’s a giant hole in your life—or even in your heart—after a relationship ends. 

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest studies about adult life that is still going strong after more than 75 years, found that maintaining loving relationships with spouses, family, and friends is one of the most crucial factors in our happiness.

Since our relationships are such a big part of our lives, it’s not surprising that we can feel lost and alone when they end. But loneliness can have a majorly negative effect on your physical and mental health, so it’s important to find ways to cope.

Setting up a regular time to talk with your best friend or taking part in online or in-person support groups can help you navigate your feelings after the end of a relationship in a space that is supportive.

You’re Grieving 

Feeling empty inside or numb after the death of a loved one is a common part of the grieving process. The stages of grief do not necessarily go in order, so you might end up feeling empty inside right after a loved one dies, or much later.

Don’t put pressure on yourself to “get over” the loss of someone close to you. Know that you can find ways to cope with these feelings and live with the empty space that person left in your life. 

You’re Dealing With a Mental Health Condition

Depression does not look and feel the same for everyone, but it can show up as temporary sadness and feeling low. You might also feel less interest in activities that you used to really love doing. All and all, you might just be getting up every day with a “blah,” empty, and tired feeling.

Don’t ignore these feelings. According to Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, a lack or sense of nothingness that does not go away “can be associated with a chronic mental health condition such as depression or PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).”

With depression, you might also have a change in your appetite, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness, trouble with decision-making, and thoughts of suicide.

Amatenstein said that feeling empty could “also be a defense mechanism because after a triggering traumatic event that is so upsetting, it’s easier to shut down and feel nothing than deal with severe emotions.”

What To Do When You Feel Empty Inside 

If you’re feeling empty inside because of a temporary life circumstance—for example, you’re trying to get through something overwhelming at work that will be done in a few weeks—it might be enough to just take care of yourself during the challenging time. 

Focusing on self-care, doing activities that lift up your sense of well-being, and reaching out to others for support to get you through this time until things settle down might be all you need to do. Once the challenge has passed, you’ll probably start feeling better and more like yourself once the dust settles (and you’ll likely feel relief, too). 

However, if you’re not tying your feelings of emptiness to a specific event or the sense of nothingness in your life is not going away or is getting worse, reaching out to a professional is the next step you want to take. 

You might start by talking to your doctor, who can either recommend treatment or refer you to a mental health provider to talk about how you’re feeling and figure out what support you need.

Remember: Asking for help is not a sign that you “can’t handle life” or that you’re “weak.” It’s not easy to be honest with yourself and others about how you’re feeling, but doing so is one of the strongest things you can do. 

Acknowledging your feelings of emptiness is the first step, so congratulations if you’ve taken that step. Determining the possible cause is the next step.

If you are in distress or this feeling is persistent, reoccurring, and complex, therapists are available online and in person to assist you. Finally, remind yourself that you are respecting your feelings and taking positive actions.