I Feel Lovesick: What to Do and How to Cope

Is lovesickness real? Though the term “lovesick” might sound like an imaginary or exaggerated state of mind, it’s a very real feeling that can have a notable impact on your emotional well-being. In some cases, it can impact your ability to go about your day normally, and some people even experience physical effects. 

What Does It Mean to Be Lovesick?

"Feeling lovesick means you miss or long for a loved one to the point of feeling emotionally or physically ill," notes Amber Trueblood, LMFT.

Closely tied with deep feelings of grief, you can experience lovesickness for many different reasons. That includes painful breakups or divorce, feeling disconnected from your current partner, being ghosted by someone you were excited about, having a loved one pass away, or going through a case of unrequited love.

Signs You're Feeling Lovesick 

Before working through the complex emotions tied to lovesickness, it’s essential to first identify the issue. Like symptoms of depression, Trueblood says that lovesick individuals may feel like they have less energy than usual, have a reduced or increased appetite, and may struggle with their sleep. 

Further, the phrase "broken heart" is often synonymous with lovesickness, and it's named after the physical feelings of losing someone you love. Technically referred to as stress-induced cardiomyopathy, broken heart syndrome can cause chest pain due to a surge of stress hormones.

Regarding emotions, you might also experience a painful array of emotions depending on who you’re feeling lovesick about. For instance, if you were ghosted or broken up with then you might struggle with feelings of worthlessness or low self-confidence. 

If you’ve lost that connected feeling with your current partner, you may feel fear, betrayal, or confusion. Or if a loved one passed away, you might feel a sense of grief or despondency. In cases of unrequited love, you might feel unlovable, invisible, or ashamed. 

How to Overcome Feeling Lovesick 

The best thing to do when you feel lovesick is to practice self-awareness and healthy emotional self-care. 

“Notice if you’re avoiding friends or family, not eating or sleeping in a way that’s healthy for your body,” Trueblood advises. “Also, take note of whether you’re obsessively thinking about [the other person].”

When feeling like you’re missing or longing for someone so deeply, it’s important to ground yourself and find balance. Give yourself space to feel your emotions wholeheartedly, but do create boundaries around how long you allow yourself to fixate.

For example, this might involve 30 minutes of time spent journaling about your thoughts. Then, softly redirect your attention back to something else when your mind wanders back.

Keeping yourself thoughtfully busy can also help. That doesn’t mean filling up your calendar so you don’t have a chance to "feel," but rather finding opportunities to connect with others in meaningful ways, investing your time in new hobbies that bring you joy, and taking time for self-care activities such as reading, writing, gardening, singing, or even a bubble bath. 

How to Get Help

If you need additional support to help you sort out these feelings, that might mean reaching out to a trusted friend to share your grief, gain a new perspective, or gather helpful advice.

It could also mean finding a therapist who can help you walk through your array of complex emotions so you can reclaim joy, improve your self-confidence, or better understand why you’re experiencing lovesickness to begin with.