I’m a Busy Mom Who Has Struggled to Find a Therapist for Years—So I Tried Hers

At the end of 2020, I officially became a mom of four—and while I love motherhood, I’ve also found it really challenging to make time for my own well-being and mental health. So I started to look for an in-person therapist in my city with openings that fit my schedule. But, because I am home full-time with the kids with limited childcare available to me, I struggled to find a therapist with the right availability. So, I started exploring telehealth options, hoping I could find a provider that would meet my needs and my schedule. 

And that’s how I found Hers, a telehealth company that also offers online therapy and psychiatry. I liked the idea of trying it out because its pricing structure is clear (it bills you per session, but more on that below) and straightforward and its providers specialize in mental health conditions common to cisgendered and female-identifying people—including those challenges that come with being a mom. 

After doing a little research into the company, I learned Hers isn’t free from scandal. However, the bad press is associated with its prescription services and concerns about mail-order prescriptions. Since I wasn’t planning to use the prescription services, I wasn’t concerned by what I found. And I’m happy I wasn’t dissuaded because I had a pleasant experience at Hers. I found the company easy to use and my providers were knowledgeable and compassionate. Here’s my experience. 

Signing Up for Therapy

When I first landed on the Hers website, it was hard not to be taken in by the inviting design, including its cool colors. The site was also clearly female-focused: It is full of photos of women making “healthy” lifestyle choices (like caring for potted plants, apparently).

The homepage is also very easy to navigate because all you have to do to learn more about Hers' services is scroll down. 

Since Hers is a telehealth company that provides psychiatric medications, as well as other sexual health and dermatology prescriptions, the company’s website puts a lot of emphasis on its medication management services. As a result, I found it a bit challenging to find where I was supposed to sign up for talk therapy services. I started by scrolling down the homepage, but didn’t find a mention of therapy. So, I clicked on the drop-down menu for mental health, clicked on “anxiety,” and was prompted to begin the process for medication management—which is not what I wanted. 

Finally, I figured out that clicking on “All Mental Health” took me to a new page where I could start the process of signing up for therapy.

When I finally found where to sign up for therapy, the process was quick and easy. I answered a number of questions about my mental health, which included questions about my mood, my interest in doing things, and whether or not I felt I was failing or things were getting on top of me. Additionally, I was asked to share my family’s health history and the medications I was taking at the time. 

Part of the sign-up also included questions about my provider preferences, including gender and religious identity. Then I was shown two possible matches (both, like all therapists at the company, were licensed), prompted to pick the one I felt most comfortable with, and invited to schedule my first session from my provider’s available times.

My Therapy Sessions at Hers

The first available session with my therapist was unfortunately one week away—and while this was longer than I’d hoped to wait, it was still a much shorter waiting time than the several weeks I had to wait when I had done in-person therapy in the past. 

I joined each session from the Hers patient portal, but I could also have joined by signing into the Hers website. The good news is I didn’t experience any technical issues during my sessions. Unlike some of its more popular competitors, including BetterHelp, Hers doesn’t offer messaging between client and provider, such a live chat or asychronous messaging, but I didn’t mind this. 

During my first session, my therapist asked about my goals for therapy. I stated that I hoped to focus on practical actions I could take to manage my response to the stressors in my life. In response, my therapist honored my request by not pushing me to dive into past trauma or go too deep. Instead, we focused on practical tips, like how to make some changes to the hardest parts of my days or what to do when I felt my anxiety taking control. 

I said no most of the time, but I did take on a few small assignments on the weeks when I felt able to make the time for the work. For instance, I started to implement a new system specific to a high-stress time of day. I also began practicing a specific meditation each time I got in the car with my kids. This was a suggestion my therapist made after I reported how I was struggling with driving during rush hour with all four kids.

Overall, my therapist was incredibly engaged, easy to talk to, and compassionate in our therapy sessions. I felt validated when they expressed more than once that the situations I was struggling with were challenging and that feeling overwhelmed was reasonable. They also offered flexible scheduling times, including early morning, which worked well with my lifestyle as a stay-at-home mom with a working spouse.

Switching Providers

After two sessions, I looked into what it would take to switch providers. I found the option by navigating to my patient portal and then clicking “My Therapy.” Front and center was an icon showing my next therapy session and my provider’s picture and bio. From there I was able to indicate I wanted to change to a new therapist. 

I started the process to switch, but the only other provider available in my state hadn’t completed their bio or uploaded a photo of themselves—suggesting that perhaps, Hers doesn’t have that many providers working in some states. Since I liked the provider I was seeing—and didn’t like that I couldn’t see anything about the other provider—I decided I felt more comfortable continuing with someone I knew.

Pros and Cons

Hers has a lot to offer to women looking for teletherapy, but the company isn’t without its flaws. Check out the pros and cons of seeing a therapist through Hers.

Final Thoughts

After using Hers for four sessions, I can say my experience was mostly a good one. I found the patient portal to be easy to navigate, giving me quick access to information about my past and future therapy sessions. I appreciated the transparency of the pricing model, and that I knew exactly what I would be spending upfront. As for my sessions, I specifically felt I had a strong connection with my provider and that they were able to offer me practical advice and homework that suited my needs. 

That being said, I think it is worth noting the few downsides that come with using Hers for therapy. Some states seem to have limited providers available: I only was shown two options at sign-up, which meant that when I went to switch, only one other option was available to me. And, the second provider hadn’t completed their bio and I didn’t feel comfortable making a switch without more information about them. Hers also doesn’t offer discounted subscriptions or need-based financial aid. The only option for more affordable services is paying for three months upfront, which would be challenging for many, myself included.

That being said, I feel that Hers is a strong service overall, making mental healthcare more accessible with its transparent pricing structure and women-centered care.