Moving and Depression in Children

Research shows a connection between moving and depression in children, especially when the move involves changing schools. A move doesn't affect every child this way, but the association between depression and this life-changing event warrants awareness and a plan to ensure a smooth transition. Here are a few common considerations for a move and tips to help your child cope.

When Divorce Is the Reason for the Move

If you are moving as the result of a divorce or other family restructuring, be especially sensitive to your child's needs and feelings. Your child will not only be adjusting to a new home and environment but also to a new family structure.

A move combined with a change in the family could be traumatic for a child and trigger feelings of insecurity, isolation, or anger, which are often seen in depression. Keeping to your child's current routine as much as possible can help foster a sense of stability.

The Importance of Keeping Old Friends

Making new friends in their new environment is crucial for your child, but maintaining old friendships is important, too. Allow your child to communicate with and see their old friends whenever possible.

One study found that children who were introverted were more likely to experience lasting negative effects from a move. This might be because introverted children have difficulty forming relationships, which moving tends to disrupt.

The more relationships that your child has, the more they will feel supported and confident in their ability to make new friends. A child who has no peers to connect with may withdraw from school and social activities.

Mental Health

Children who have had previous mental health issues, especially depression, are more likely to experience depression again. Research suggests that moving is a significant life stressor for children. In fact, moving schools can be as traumatic as having a parent hospitalized for a serious medical illness.

Some children, especially those with a past mental illness, are prone to depression as a result of stress. Be on alert for signs, and consider speaking with your child's therapist about a care plan before you leave. Ask for a referral to a new provider in your new town.

How Parents Can Be Proactive

Not all children become depressed with a move, but it's a possibility. Here are a few strategies to minimize the risk:

• Include your child when you discuss your plans. Show them photos of the new house and information about the new area. Walk them through it using Street View in Google Maps or Look Around in Apple Maps. Explain why the move is happening (new job, better schools, etc.).
• Empower them with age-appropriate decisions such as how to decorate their bedroom, where to put the swingset, what to plant in the garden, etc.
• Encourage your child to talk about their feelings. Be sympathetic to their fears, and try not to let your anxiety add to theirs.
• Validate their feelings. For example, if your child expresses sadness, you might say, "It seems like you'll really miss our house. I will, too. It's OK and totally understandable to feel that way."
• Encourage your child to join groups such as school clubs and sports teams. This can help them make new friends, nurture longstanding interests, and develop new ones. Bonus: You'll likely make new friends among the parents, too.
• Point out what will stay the same. You might remind them that their pets are coming, too, or that they'll still have their toys, favorite pillow, bedroom furniture—anything that helps them understand that this is not an end, but a transition.
• Remind them that they can stay in touch with faraway friends. Phone and video calls (supervised for safety) keep them always close by in a virtual sense.
• Spend as much time with your child as you can. This can help reassure them and provide a sense of constancy in their changing world. Plus, it allows ample opportunity for discussion.

When Relocation Depression Occurs

Although the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Volume 5) doesn't list relocation depression specifically, it's a type of situational depression and carries the same signs and symptoms of depression in your child, which might include:

• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Unexplained crying
• Clinging to a parent
• Feelings of guilt
• Loss of interest in things of former interest
• Academic decline
• Thoughts or actions of self-harm
• Persistent unexplained physical complaints (e.g., headaches, stomachaches)
• Appetite and/or weight changes
• Sleep problems

It's normal for a child to be nervous about a move and to need more attention and reassurance than usual for the first few weeks of the transition. They might even have sleep disturbances, which should resolve without treatment in several days.

A Word From Verywell

Moving can be stressful and even traumatic for kids. They don't yet have the experience and maturity to deal with a change that's big enough to upset even adults. Be on the lookout for signs of depression, and get professional help promptly if you suspect it's developing.