Theories Personality Psychology Perfectionism: 10 Signs of Perfectionist Traits When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough By Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing. Learn about our editorial process Updated on June 17, 2024 Reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by mental health professionals. Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Amy Morin, LCSW Reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Learn about our Review Board Print Table of Contents View All Table of Contents All-or-Nothing Thinking Being Highly Critical Feeling Pushed By Fear Having Unrealistic Standards Focusing Only on Results Feeling Depressed by Unmet Goals Fearing Failure Procrastinating Being Defensive Having Low Self-Esteem Are You a Perfectionist? Take the Quiz Causes Pitfalls How to Overcome Perfectionism FAQs Close Perfection is a double-edged sword—the driving force behind a high achiever or a personal liability. It's a matter of degree. Here are 10 signs of perfectionist traits to watch for when nothing is ever good enough for yourself or someone around you. A perfectionist has "excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations." They insist on perfection and accept nothing shy of flawlessness. This can manifest as criticism of self and others and in attempts to control situations and people. Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Perfectionism Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, featuring Peloton instructor Ally Love, shares how to focus on progress instead of aiming for perfection. Click below to listen now. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts All-or-Nothing Thinking Perfectionists, like high achievers, set and work hard to achieve lofty goals. Whereas a high achiever can be satisfied knowing they did their best and achieved a goal, a perfectionist will accept nothing less than perfection. "Almost perfect" is seen as a failure. How to Overcome All-or-Nothing Thinking Being Highly Critical Someone with a perfectionist personality is more critical of themselves and others than a high achiever. High achievers take pride in their accomplishments and tend to be supportive of others, yet perfectionists often spot mistakes and imperfections. A perfectionist focuses on imperfections and has trouble seeing anything else. They’re more judgmental and hard on themselves and others when "failure" does occur. Feeling Pushed By Fear High achievers are often pulled toward their goals by a desire to achieve them. They are also happy with any steps made in the right direction. Perfectionists, on the other hand, tend to be pushed by a fear of anything less than a perfectly met goal. Having Unrealistic Standards Another sign of being a perfectionist is setting goals that may not be reasonable. High achievers can set their goals high, enjoying the fun of going a little further once these goals are reached. Perfectionists often set their initial goals out of reach. Because a perfectionist tends to have unrealistic standards, they often reject success because they feel that their actions are never good enough to rise to this level of achievement. The Expectations vs. Reality Trap Focusing Only on Results High achievers can enjoy the process of chasing a goal as much or more than the actual reaching of the goal itself. Conversely, perfectionists see the goal and nothing else. They’re so concerned with hitting the goal and avoiding failure that they can’t enjoy the process of growing and striving. Feeling Depressed by Unmet Goals Perfectionists are often less happy than high achievers. While high achievers are able to bounce back fairly easily from disappointment, perfectionists tend to beat themselves up and wallow in negative feelings when their high expectations go unmet. They struggle to move on when things don't work out the way they had hoped. In addition to having less happiness, people with a perfectionist personality also tend to have higher levels of anxiety and lower levels of psychological well-being. Fear of Failure Perfectionists have a greater fear of failure than high achievers. Because they place so much stock in results and become disappointed by anything less than perfection, failure becomes a scary prospect. And since anything less than perfection is seen as a failure, it makes it difficult to get started on anything new. Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure Procrastination It seems paradoxical that perfectionists would be prone to procrastination since this personality trait can be detrimental to productivity. But research has found that a perfectionist person who isn't able to adjust to their situation or environment—called maladaptive perfectionism—is often more prone to procrastinate. The reason for this is because, fearing failure as they do, perfectionists will sometimes worry so much about doing something imperfectly that they become immobilized and fail to do anything at all. This procrastination can then lead to greater feelings of failure, further perpetuating a vicious and paralyzing cycle. Defensiveness Because a less-than-perfect performance is so painful and scary to perfectionists, they will often respond defensively to constructive criticism. High achievers, on the other hand, can see criticism as valuable information that will help improve their future performance. Low Self-Esteem High achievers tend to have equally high levels of self-esteem. This isn't the case with perfectionists. Although striving for perfectionism is associated with higher self-esteem, when someone with a perfectionist personality evaluates themselves critically, this contributes to low self-esteem instead. Perfectionists can also be lonely or isolated due to their critical nature and rigidity pushing others away. This can lead to even lower self-esteem, ultimately having a serious impact on the person's self-image and overall life satisfaction while also impacting their relationships. Are You a Perfectionist? Take the Quiz Our fast and free perfectionist quiz can help you determine if your behavior suggests that you are a perfectionist: Causes of Perfectionism Many factors can affect a person's chances of having a perfectionist personality. Some of the main causes of perfectionism include: A fear of judgment or disapproval from others Early childhood experiences, such as having parents with unrealistically high expectations Having a mental health condition associated with perfectionist tendencies, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) Poor self-esteem Feelings of inadequacy A need for control Tying self-worth to achievements Societal and cultural expectations can also play a role in perfectionism. Pitfalls of Perfectionism Being a perfectionist is challenging because it's difficult to be perfect, or even of reaching a personal best. Another problem with perfectionism—and the reason you'll want to know if you possess perfectionistic traits—is that perfectionists actually tend to achieve less and stress more than high achievers. Unhealthy perfectionism is characterized by an excessive focus on control. Perfectionists can become extremely picky and preoccupied with making sure everything is flawless, which can lead to attempts to control situations or people. This can take a toll on interpersonal relationships. It can also contribute to higher levels of stress. The stress caused by perfectionism can then lead to feelings of anxiety and has been linked to a variety of negative outcomes, including low self-esteem, eating disorders, sleep disturbances, and psychological distress. Recap Unhealthy perfectionism can make it difficult to achieve your goals. It can also lead to worry, stress, anxiety, and depression, among other negative outcomes. How to Overcome Perfectionism If you are a perfectionist and want to reduce some of its negative impacts on your life, there are a few things you can do. Strategies that can help you overcome perfectionism include: Creating an environment where you feel accepted Engaging in positive self-talk Not comparing yourself to others Practicing mindfulness to help you learn how to focus on the present without worrying as much about the past or future Using techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), such as challenging negative thoughts Healthy perfectionism can drive people to perform their best, but unhealthy perfectionism can lead to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and other issues that can affect their quality of life. Perfectionists are often critical, driven by fear, have unrealistic expectations, fear failure, and are defensive when they face any criticism. If you see some of these perfectionist traits in yourself, don’t despair. Recognizing that a change may be needed is a very important first step. Once you recognize how these tendencies might be affecting you negatively, you can begin working toward taking a healthier approach that will still allow you to achieve your goals with less stress and negativity. Psychological Flexibility Frequently Asked Questions How might perfectionism lead to anxiety? Perfectionists often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and worry that they will fail to live up to their own expectations. This constant worry can contribute to feelings of anxiety, particularly when perfectionism tends to focus on being self-critical. Learn More: How Perfectionism Can Impact Panic and Anxiety How can I help a perfectionist child? There are a number of strategies that can help a child who exhibits unhealthy perfectionism. Parents and other adults should have reasonable expectations and focus on praising their child's efforts rather than outcomes.It is also important to model healthy, positive self-talk that shows how you can be kind and compassionate to yourself, even when you make mistakes. Is perfectionism a mental illness? Perfectionism is a personality trait versus being a mental health disorder. That said, people with certain mental illnesses may have perfectionist tendencies. One example of this is individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Learn More: What is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? Is being a perfectionist a good thing? Perfectionism isn't all bad as people with this tendency often have a different way of assessing situations, which is tied to greater well-being. However, if your perfectionist tendencies are negatively impacting your life, this personality trait may not be a good thing for you. What are the three types of perfectionism? The three types of perfectionism are:Socially prescribed perfectionism: Involves high standards and social pressure to succeed. This type contributes to poor self-confidence and feelings of anxiety.Other-oriented perfectionism: Involves having high expectations of other people. This type can contribute to conflict and relationship problems.Self-oriented perfectionism: A more adaptive form of perfectionism characterized by high motivation, resourcefulness, and positive emotions. Are perfectionists narcissistic? Narcissism and perfectionism can sometimes occur together, although this is not always the case. Some research suggests that narcissists may be more prone to perfectionism. One study found that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with more social negativity, including higher levels of conflict, anger, and hostility. 15 Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. 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Multidimensional models of perfectionism and procrastination: Seeking determinants of both. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2020;17(14):5099. doi:10.3390/ijerph17145099 Nealis LJ, Sherry SB, Lee-Baggley DL, Stewart SH, Macneil MA. Revitalizing narcissistic perfectionism: evidence of the reliability and the validity of an emerging construct. J Psychopathol Behav Assess. 2016;38(3):493-504. doi:10.1007/s10862-016-9537-y By Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Helpful Report an Error Other Submit