Small Talk Topics

Finding things to talk about in casual conversation can be difficult when you don't know the other person. It can be especially challenging if you're introverted or live with social anxiety disorder (SAD), Small talk can be a great way to break the ice in those situations.

What Is Small Talk

Small talk refers to the informal, polite, light conversations people have when they don't know each other well (or at all). Although such social transactions generally focus on inconsequential topics, they're an important way to make connections, build rapport, and nurture relationships.

Avoiding small talk, however, can worsen anxiety in the long run. Instead, decide on a few things to talk about ahead of time. This can help build your confidence and improve your social skills. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

The Weather

Talking about the weather may seem mundane, but it's a neutral topic that anyone can discuss. Did a big storm just blow through? Are you in the middle of a heatwave? Look outside your door for conversation starters such as:

• Lovely day, don't you think?
• Looks like rain's in the forecast.
• Did you order this beautiful weather?
  

Arts and Entertainment

Try these:

• Movies and television shows
• Popular restaurants
• Popular music
• Books

A few examples:

• Are you reading any great books? I could use some recommendations.
• Are there any podcasts you love? 
• Have you tried any new apps or games lately? I could use some suggestions.

Skip talking about movies, television, or books that your conversation partner has not seen or read. If no one else has seen the movie, don't go into detail about the plot or the funny scenes. Find some common ground and build your discussion from there.

You might have to ask several people before you get someone interested in talking with you. Be okay with rejection, or even seek it out. It's all just practice, after all, and practice is key.

Sports

Sports are always good things to talk about. They might include:

• Favorite or local teams
• Sporting events
• Tournaments or championships

Keep track of what sports are played in which seasons—such as football, soccer, hockey, and golf—so you're on top of the current action. The Olympic Games are always a good option if they're taking place.

If your conversation partner supports a rival team, avoid trash-talking. Instead, keep your discussion on things like team or player performance.

You might ask someone, "Did you catch that golf tournament over the weekend?" Although this might be uncomfortable at first, it will feel more natural with practice.

Family

Conversation-starters about family might include:

• Do you have any brothers or sisters?
• How long have you been with your partner?
• Where does your family live?

Prepare for these types of questions and reciprocate by asking about the other person's family. Engaging in this type of small talk helps further your communication skills and learn a lot about a person quickly.

Food

Keep food convos neutral and positive. Try these:

• Have you gone to any new restaurants lately?
• What's your favorite meal to cook at home?
• Do you have any ideas for work lunches? I'm out of ideas, and I'm sick of sandwiches.

As with other conversation-starters, stick to positive topics and avoid complaining about foods you dislike.

Work

Another popular thing to talk about is work. You might be asked what you do or whether you like your job. If you do something unusual that's hard to explain, consider keeping business cards in your wallet.

You might open a conversation with these questions:

• How long have you worked as a [job title]? How long have you worked at [company]?
• What do you enjoy most about your job?
• That's an interesting line of work. How did you get into it?

Travel

People like to hear about vacations. If you travel, be ready to answer questions and give your opinions about places you've visited.

People tend to enjoy hearing about favorite travel spots and recommendations. Your conversation partner might jump at the chance to recount a joyful vacation.

Celebrity Gossip

Following celebrity gossip isn't necessary to make small talk, but knowing a little about a few popular celebrities can come in handy when the topic comes up. Work events, however, aren't appropriate for this unless others are into the same topic.

Hobbies

People like to talk about their hobbies and are likely to be interested in yours. If you don't have any hobbies, consider trying something new. Not only will you have something to talk about, but having a hobby will give you a chance to meet others with similar interests.

Be sure to ask follow-up questions as you listen to someone talk about their hobbies. Listen between the lines, as well. If someone says, "That was the last time I ever went skiing," for instance, ask why.

Hometowns

In a small-talk situation, you might be asked about your hometown. For example:

• How is where you grew up different from where you live now?
• Why did you leave?

Have an interesting anecdote or story ready to tell. Ask others about their hometowns, too; you might find a common connection.

Worst Small-Talk Topics

You're better off avoiding these topics you're better off avoiding.

Finances

Asking personal financial questions of someone you've just met is inappropriate. You can ask what they do for work or the positive aspects of their career, but don't ask about salaries. Most people will find this question intrusive and inappropriate, especially if they're experiencing financial stress.

Politics and Religion

Someone in the crowd might have strong opinions, particularly in recent times, so stay away from this topic unless you want to risk a heated conversation. Religion can be equally polarizing.

Sex

Sex and other intimate topics are inappropriate for small talk. These topics are likely to make others feel uncomfortable or violated.

Death

Death is another heavy topic to avoid in casual conversation. In general, don't bring up emotional, possibly upsetting topics.

Appearance

Unless you know someone well, don't ask about their age or appearance. Never ask anyone if they're pregnant or comment on their weight. (This goes for thinness as well as the opposite.) There might be a reason for weight gain or loss that the person doesn't want to share or call attention to.

Personal Gossip

Celebrity gossip is fair game during small talk, but gossip about people you know personally is not. This puts you in a bad light, risks offending someone about a common acquaintance, and can lead to embarrassment.

Offensive Jokes and Comments

Jokes and slurs based on race, culture, sex, or sexual orientation are offensive, regardless of the circumstances.

Narrow Topics

Avoid talking at length about topics only you're familiar with, such as specialized expertise in a particular field or uncommon hobbies of which your conversation partner has no knowledge.

This doesn't mean you don't have to avoid mentioning these topics entirely. If someone asks you what your hobbies are, for instance, mentioning some uncommon ones can be an interesting jumping-off point for certain conversations.

The key is to keep the discussion more general and skip getting into long-winded speeches about highly specialized things you are passionate about (unless the other person shares those same passions).

Past Relationships

Avoid talking about past relationships on a first date or within other small talk conversations. When forging new romantic connections, making comparisons or talking endlessly about a past love interest is a turnoff and may ensure you don't get a second date.

Talking about past relationships tends to focus on negative topics, which is generally something you should try to avoid when making small talk. Your conversation partner may be hesitant to talk, as well, if it seems like you might talk negatively about them in the future.

Health

Health issues tend to make poor choices for small talk. While you might be tempted to share the latest health kick you're trying, or ache and pain you're suffering, the person you are sharing it with may be less interested. Some topics to avoid include:

• Telling people how they should feel about a health condition
• Offering "quick cures" for complex medical issues
• Suggesting that people could lose weight or get fit by following your tips

Avoid discussing potentially sensitive health issues, whether they are your own or somebody else's. Asking others about their health can come off as intrusive, so it's best to avoid it.

How to Start Small Talk

There are a number of things you can do to help make small talk easier, whether you are meeting new people or dealing with social anxiety at a party. Asking open-ended questions and engaging in active listening can help you have great conversations with new people.

Some good small talk questions that can help initiate a conversation include:

• What do you do?
• Where did you grow up?
• Do you have any pets?
• Have you been enjoying the nice weather?
• Have you been enjoying the food here?
• What have you been watching on tv lately?
• Have you read any good books lately?
• How are you today?
• Did you happen to catch the game this week?

Try to stay positive and discuss optimistic topics. Avoid complaining, airing grievances, or displaying a pessimistic attitude. If you do bring up something that isn't generating interest or find yourself in an awkward conversation, change the subject and move on to something else. 

How Do You Avoid Small Talk?

If small talk makes you truly uncomfortable, you can avoid it by politely excusing yourself from the conversation. If you are engaged in a book or have your earbuds in, it's also less likely that someone will try to start a conversation with you.

That said, if your goal in avoiding small talk is to have more meaningful conversations, asking open-ended questions is a good way to prompt a more in-depth discussion.

The Takeaway

Starting conversations and making small talk gets easier with practice. Rehearse some topics that don't make others uncomfortable, and avoid controversial and personal issues. Your goals are to be pleasant, perhaps pass the time, and leave the other person feeling good about having chatted with you.