How Introverts Deal With Stress

Introverts tend to be misunderstood in our society. They don't dislike people, and they don't just want to be left alone. However, things that an extrovert might find fun and exciting might be a source of stress and anxiety for an introverted person.

These differences aren't absolute. Some introverts do enjoy social events and other situations that might send a more introverted person into a stress spiral. It all depends on where someone falls on the introvert-extrovert spectrum.

How Introvert Stress Is Different

The differences in how introverts and extroverts relate to the world influence how people experience and cope with stress. Extroverts tend to be confident, dominant, and need stimulation, whereas introverts are more understated and need more "downtime." 

This means that introverts may more often shy away from making plans with others as they may not know in advance if they will have enough energy that day. They may also leave social events earlier and be less engaged while at an event; most introverts prefer to talk to one person or a small group rather than hold the attention of a crowd.

Introverts may be less likely to instigate plans than their extroverted counterparts and may be more likely to cancel plans with others, even if they enjoy other people’s company. They are more likely to thoroughly think things through before sharing their thoughts with others, whereas extroverts may process their thoughts and ideas aloud.

Introverts also tend to be more affected by the moods of others, which can lead to “contagious” stress reactions. With all of this, introverts still love people, care deeply for their friends, and need connection as much as extroverts; they just may get more out of a quiet night with a friend than a loud party with a big crowd. And that’s OK.

What Causes Introvert Stress?

What introverts find stressful can also differ from what extroverts find stressful. While each person's situation is unique, you might find that some common sources of introvert stress include:

Too Much Socialization

Spending a lot of time around others without having any alone time can be a significant source of stress for introverted people. For example, you might find that social gatherings leave you feeling drained and exhausted.

Normally, you probably have ways of dealing with this. After a long day at work, you spend some quiet, peaceful hours by yourself or with a smaller group of loved ones.

Overstimulation

Where extroverts enjoy new situations, introverts get overwhelmed with novel or unpredictable experiences. Feeling overstimulated by loud noises, busy crowds, noisy settings, or bright lights can also be a source of introvert stress.

Loneliness

Introverts enjoy alone time, but they also need social support and interaction as well. While you might want to have meaningful connections with other people, it can be really tough to initiate these interactions.

You might feel like you've spent so much time turning down invitations to social events that you aren't sure how to say yes—or how to reach out and form new friendships. Over time, you might find yourself feeling isolated and lonely, which can be a significant source of stress.

Anxiety Symptoms

Some research has shown that introverted people tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, including anticipatory anxiety. If you're an introvert, you probably have plenty of experience with spending way too much time worrying about upcoming social events.

When you're mind is constantly dwelling on things that haven't even happened yet—like worrying about going to the office party or having to give a presentation at work—it means you end up dealing with extended periods of prolonged stress. 

Potential Pitfalls for Introverts

If you are an introvert (or if you love one), understanding some of the needs and traits that come with a more introverted nature is vital. Recognizing these sources of stress (and how to deal with them) may help you avoid some of the potential pitfalls that introverts sometimes experience.

Researchers who study the “Big Five” personality traits have found that those higher in introversion versus extroversion may have to work harder at stress management and happiness in general, which it may come more naturally to extroverts.

Evidence also suggests that extroverted people tend to be less stressed as parents. This could be because extroverts are more energized than drained by the group activity that comes with parenting, or it could be due to other factors. Either way, less stressed parents may raise less stressed children, so it is essential for introverts to find effective ways to manage stress.

Tips Specific to Introverts

Introverts can practice every stress management technique that extroverts practice, of course, but certain techniques may be more appealing to introverts. Other techniques are more suited to introverts.

There are also some strategies that can counteract a natural tendency to miss out on some of the activities that may benefit you, which may come naturally to extroverts. Here are some ideas to consider.

Practice Meditation

Meditation can boost your resilience toward stress when practiced long-term and help you feel more relaxed in the short term. There are many ways to practice meditation, but overall, it is a quiet practice.  

Get Into Journaling

Writing in a journal is a great way to process your emotions or train your mind to focus on the positive. Journaling brings several research-proven health and stress management benefits.

Maintaining an emotion-processing journal, a coincidence journal, or a gratitude journal are just a few ways to use writing as a way to process, to take what's in your mind and get it out. Journaling can relieve stress for just about anyone, but it's particularly suited to introverts.

Examine Your Thoughts

Negative thoughts can increase your experience of stress. Extroverts tend to be more positive in their thinking, but positive thought patterns are also a skill that you can learn and strengthen. Some stress-reducing ways to change your self-talk and build your resilience to toward stress include:

• Reword your thoughts to use less powerful language. For example, instead of thinking, "I hate this!" you might think, "This is annoying."
• Avoid self-limiting thoughts. Instead of thinking, "I can't do this!" try thinking, "What can I do to manage this situation better?"
• Try neutral or positive language. When you have negative thoughts, try replacing them with something that seems more neutral or positive.

Actively Cultivate Good Moods

Research has found that positive affect—the experience of being in a good mood—is related to happiness as well as resiliency. Unfortunately, introverts tend to experience fewer good moods in their daily lives, but this is also something you can change.

Developing more posititivity in your life can help combat the effects of introvert stress, and help you live a happier life in general. Some things that you can do to help cultivate positive affect include:

• Spend time pursuing hobbies that you enjoy: Hobbies are a great way to fight stress and improve your overall mood
• Engage in regular exercise: In addition to boosting mood, it also combats stress, anxiety, and symptoms of depression
• Try loving-kindness meditation: It can help you develop a more positive attitude toward yourself, other people, and the world at large
• Savor the good stuff: Think about the things that bring you joy and look for ways to get the most out of them
• Show gratitude: Research has shown that expressing gratitude for the good things in your life can help boost your mood

Organize Your Space

Introverts love having a space of their own, a place to go and recharge. If your space is chaotic, this becomes more difficult. While cleaning may not be the most enjoyable activity you can engage in, maintaining a "happy place" for yourself can be great for stress management, so it is entirely worth it to think of cleaning as a stress reliever and maintain a peaceful space of your own. 

Express Your Gratitude

While extroverts may automatically express their thanks to those they care about (and even those they may just meet casually), introverts may find these expressions come less naturally.

Expressing gratitude for the people in your life—to the people in your life—can increase your life satisfaction and strengthen your relationship satisfaction. (People love feeling appreciated, which can encourage others to express their appreciation for you, too.) 

Develop Optimism

Extroverts have been found to be more often optimistic and tend to appraise challenges more positively. This provides an advantage.

Even if you aren't a natural-born optimist, there are things that you can do to cultivate a more positive outlook on life. You might try:

• Giving yourself enough credit for your achievements and talents
• Imagine yourself doing well in future events
• Focus on your strengths and abilities
• Forgive yourself for the past
• Remind yourself that each day presents a new opportunity
• Use positive affirmations to boost your esteem

Know Your Limits (and Respect Them)

Many introverts feel the need to keep up with their extroverted friends in an attempt to appear more friendly. If you can push yourself to be more extroverted than you naturally would be, this isn't a bad thing—studies show that when introverts "act extroverted," they experience an increase in feelings of happiness.

However, it's also important to know your limits and choose your activities so you don't push yourself too far. It's OK to recharge. Give yourself the time and space you need to deal with introvert stress. Pushing yourself too hard just create more stress and makes it harder to cope.

Act Extroverted (In Small Doses)

Research does show that introverts can get a boost of positive mood when they "act extroverted" on purpose. It's the introvert version of "fake it 'til you make it." Unfortunately, introverts often underestimate the amount of positive emotion they'll experience when they do this.

Once you are aware of your boundaries and limitations in terms of how much "social time" you can handle before you're exhausted, it's a great idea to push yourself a little extra to be more friendly with people. You may be surprised by how much you enjoy it!

Practice Self-Compassion

The world sometimes seems set up for extroverts. People also tend to judge introverts unfairly. For example, they are often mischaracterized as misanthropic, anxious, or shy.

While introverts face their own unique challenges, it's important to learn more about what makes you tick and to embrace those differences.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. If you can explain to people that you love them but may have a greater need for "downtime," they may be more accepting of who you are as well.

The most important thing to remember is that self-compassion is valuable. Being gentle with yourself as well as with others, and building compassion with practices (like loving-kindness meditation) can really help.

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Being Introvert Has Benefits, Too!

Introvert stress can create some unique challenges, but it's also important to note that being an introvert can also help you deal with certain types of stress more effectively.

One study examined the effects of hiding negative emotions and faking positive ones. Introverts were less likely to hide negative emotions in their relationships and less likely to suffer as a result. 

Extroverts were both more likely to hide negative emotions in their relationships and more likely to experience lower relationship satisfaction and adverse effects on their health, and this effect was more pronounced than the consequences of faking positive emotions. 

Faking positive emotions did not bring the same negative consequences at all, demonstrating that the “fake it until you make it” approach to relationship happiness may be more effective. This in itself is important to know.

There are many other benefits to introversion, so by focusing on your strengths instead of your weaknesses and balancing things out with the right stress management techniques, introverts can deal with stress while still embracing their quiet, thoughtful nature.