What Is a Sex Therapist?

The idea of a sex therapist may bring up a lot of curiosity. What are those therapy sessions like? Are people naked? Is there sex? Read on to find out more about the role of a sex therapist, and what issues they can help with.

What is a Sex Therapist?

When you have a sexual concern that’s not caused by an underlying medical condition, trying to find help for it might seem daunting. In many of these cases, a sex therapist can help.

A sex therapist is not the same as a sex educator or a sex counselor. Varying levels of education and training are required as explained by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

A sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional who has a minimum of a master's degree and has to be licensed to provide therapy. They can be a social worker, marriage and family therapist, or psychologist, but they must be certified as a sex therapist. 

Essentially, a sex therapist can help identify the underlying emotional or mental patterns that are causing sexual concerns such as low sexual desire, problems with arousal, inappropriate boundaries or behaviors, emotions associated with gender identity or sexual orientation, and more.

During therapy sessions, a sex therapist will provide tools, techniques, and strategies that will help you overcome barriers and improve your sexual well-being. The focus of therapy depends on what your needs are.

Who Might Need to See a Sex Therapist 

There’s no specific type of person that needs to see a sex therapist. Anybody can see a sex therapist for any sexual difficulties they might be experiencing.

There are no small or big sexual problems or dysfunctions. If you feel like you need to speak to a sex therapist about a sexual problem you think you might have, it could never hurt to go ahead and do so.

People of any age or gender could seek the help of a sex therapist. There are, however, some common sexual problems people typically see sex therapists for. Some of them include:

Anxiety:

• Experiencing anxiety about sexual activity and sexual performance
• Anxiety about body image, penis size
• Fear of sex
• Sexual shame, trauma

Arousal issues:

• Being unable to get aroused or orgasm during sex for men and women
• Low libido or mismatched sex drives in couples
• Erectile dysfunction
• Pain during sex (e.g., vaginismus)
  

Intimacy issues:

• Improving communication about sex and intimacy
• Issues related to gender identity or sexual orientation
• Emotional and relationship issues stemming from sexual difficulties
• Healing from infidelity
• Coping with a sexually transmitted illness (STI)

What to Expect in a Sex Therapy Session 

If you’ve just signed up for your first therapy session, it’s perfectly normal to feel a little nervous about it. Sharing details of your sex life with a stranger might seem uncomfortable, but with time, you’ll ease into the routine and hopefully end up with a resolution for your sexual problem.

You could either go for a sex therapy session alone or with your partner. Each session will vary as you progress on your journey with your sex therapist.

Sometimes they will help you build skills that improve your emotional and sexual communication to foster healthier intimacy. They may teach you specific techniques that improve sexual arousal and satisfaction. If needed, they will treat underlying anxiety related to childhood sexual abuse or sexual trauma. It depends on what your needs are.

So you don’t feel blindsided, here are some of the things that may happen in a sex therapy session: 

• You may learn to be very open about your sexual life. To determine the underlying cause of your problem, you might be required to be explicit about your sexual life. This may not happen immediately, and a skilled sex therapist will ease you into sharing with each session. 
• You might be asked/required to do some tests. A sex therapist is typically more equipped to help you with a psychological problem. However, in some instances, your situation might be physical. If your therapist suspects that you have a physical problem, they might order specific medical tests to be done.
• You might be given practical exercises to try at home. A sex therapy session will often not end in the therapy room. You might be given exercises to try at home by yourself or with a partner. For instance, if you struggle with getting aroused, a therapist might give you tips to improve intimacy with your partner. 
• You may be referred to a surrogate partner. Your therapist may offer a referral or recommendation to a sex surrogate, for additional support in your treatment if appropriate. This can be a more involved, hands-on experience to build comfort levels, self-confidence, boundaries, and sexual intimacy.

Things to Consider When Choosing a Sex Therapist 

When picking a sex therapist, there are a couple of things you might consider. Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing a sex therapist: 

• Who are you most comfortable with? During a sex therapy session, you might be required to reveal explicit details about your sexual history. Many people are more comfortable doing so with someone of the same gender as them. If you are going to therapy as a couple, you will both need to be comfortable with the therapist.
• Where are they located? Finding a sex therapist close to where you live or work is vital for your convenience. If you opt for online sex therapy sessions, then you don’t have to worry about this.
• Will your insurance cover it? Not all insurance providers will cover your sex therapy sessions. It’s essential to find this out before going in, in case you need to pay out of pocket. 

How to Find a Sex Therapist 

If you want to speak to a sex therapist, doing a simple online search can help you in your selection process. During your search, be sure to read about each therapist to see if they might be a good fit for you. Considering sex is so personal, finding a therapist you can actually connect with and open up to is vital.

Also, you can always ask your primary care physician for any possible recommendations.

You could also opt for online sex therapy sessions on platforms like Talkspace and BetterHelp. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is an organization that trains and certifies sex therapists. They are a great resource for finding great sex therapists that have training and experience.

How Effective are Sex Therapy Sessions 

Overall, it has been found that sex therapy can help to address a variety of sexual issues. The outcome of sex therapy will depend on you, your partner (if there is one), and the therapist.

The efficacy of sex therapy can be dependent on how willing you are to open yourself to the things you learn in a therapy session. It’s important to take the practical exercises seriously and listen to any other tips and tricks your sex therapist might recommend.

The effectiveness of sex therapy also depends on the therapist you are seeing. The more experienced a therapist is, the better equipped they’ll be to help with a range of sexual issues. 

A Word From Verywell

Sex therapy can be very effective in addressing sexual concerns that are not caused by a medical condition. Sometimes there are underlying mental health issues like anxiety, depression, or trauma that contribute to sexual concerns. There can also be issues in your relationship that need to be addressed to improve communication and connectedness.

A sex therapist can help with a variety of sexual concerns which can make a powerful impact on your relationship and overall wellbeing. However, in certain cases, you might need more than a sex therapist to resolve your concerns.