Why Can't I Be Happy Even When Life Is Going Great?

Sad woman at a party.

Getty / Complexio

While life has its ups and downs, some people find it difficult to feel happy even when things in their life appear to be going well. This can be due to various reasons, such as past experiences or genetic predispositions.

In any case, it is important to identify the root of why you may be feeling this way and then find ways to work through those feelings to learn how to accept and appreciate the good in life. It may also help to reach out for professional help if needed; therapists and psychologists can provide helpful strategies for managing these emotions. With the proper support, learning how to be happy when life is going well is possible.

Read further to learn about the driving forces behind happiness and ways to increase your happiness level.

Why Can't I Feel Happy Even When Life is Great?

Two of the main contributors to our level of happiness in life are related to our past experiences and our genetic predispositions.

  • Past experiences are likely to have an influence on your current outlook and state of mind. If you have been through a traumatic event in your life, it can be challenging to accept the good even when it is right in front of you. This may manifest itself through feelings of guilt or anxiety when things go too well, as those emotions can be hardwired into us from our past.
  • Genetic predispositions also play a role in our ability to find happiness even when life is going great. People with conditions like depression or anxiety may find difficulty feeling positive emotions no matter how successful their lives become; this is because these conditions can cause brain chemistry imbalances, which make it difficult to experience joy.

What Does it Mean If You Can't Feel Happy?

Happiness is an emotion and a state of mind that can be difficult to understand. It's not always easy or straightforward to feel happy, even when life is going well.

When life is going well, we often have higher expectations for our happiness levels than at other times. But sometimes, no matter how good things are, it just doesn't seem enough to make us genuinely content. Why might this be?

The answer could lie in the fact that our lives are made up of a combination of different elements: emotions, thoughts, relationships, and external factors like money or status etc. Even if most aspects of our lives are favorable, one area could still drag us down and stop us from feeling as happy as we could be.

It's also possible that when life is going great, it can intimidate or overwhelm us. We may be waiting for the other shoe to drop. We may start to doubt our abilities, compare ourselves with others, and become anxious about making mistakes or messing up (also known as imposter syndrome). This could lead to feeling low and unsatisfied even if everything is seemingly perfect on the outside.

Is It Normal to Not Feel Happy in Life?

Yes, it is totally normal not to feel happy at times, even when life is going great. Everyone experiences highs and lows in life, and happiness isn't a constant emotion or state of mind. It can take time, effort, and self-reflection to understand what brings you true contentment.

The important thing to remember is that just because you're not feeling completely fulfilled, no matter how good life appears on the outside, it doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

It's simply part of the human experience; we all have days when things seem perfect, and it is difficult to comprehend how we aren't beaming with joy. The key is learning to accept this as part of life and making an effort to find joy in different areas of your life.

However, in some cases, the inability to feel happy despite good circumstances could be a sign of an underlying mental health issue such as depression or anxiety. Anhedonia, the persistent inability to experience pleasure, could also be at play here. It's essential to pay attention to your mental well-being and reach out for help if needed.

How Can I Enjoy Life Again?

When you no longer feel the same joy or satisfaction you once did, it may seem like life has lost its meaning. But don't worry—there are ways to help you find happiness again. You can do a few simple things to start enjoying life again.

  • Connect with others: Spend quality time with your family and friends, and reach out if you're struggling with something. Being around people who care about you can make all the difference in finding your happiness again.
  • Practice gratitude: Focusing on what you have rather than what you don't can help to lift your mood. Try writing down three things you are thankful for each day or keeping a gratitude journal.
  • Exercise: Staying physically active is essential for feeling good mentally and emotionally. Exercise releases endorphins, which have been shown to make us feel happier and more energized.
  • Connect with nature: Going for a walk in the park, sitting by the beach, or simply appreciating the beauty of nature can be a great way to boost your mood and find peace within yourself.
  • Focus on small wins: Achieving even small goals—such as checking something off your to-do list, going out of your comfort zone, or spending time with loved ones—can make you feel more content and in control of your life. Celebrate any wins, no matter how small.
  • Spend time on hobbies: Engaging in activities that bring you joy—whether it's cooking, playing an instrument, reading, or crafting—can be a great way to enjoy the moment and take your mind off things.
  • Practice mindfulness: Becoming aware of the present moment and connecting with your thoughts, feelings, and sensations can help you become more mindful and less judgmental of yourself.

Can I Trick My Brain to Feel Happy?

We can't always change our circumstances, but we can learn to become masters of our own minds. Here are some tips for feeling happier:

  1. Change your mindset: Realize that happiness can be a choice. Focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives. Give yourself permission to be happy even if everything isn't perfect.
  2. Smile more: Smiling has been shown to make us feel better. So, make it a habit to smile and laugh more often, even if you don't necessarily feel like it at first.
  3. Listen to upbeat music: Music has the power to instantly brighten your mood. Put on some of your favorite uplifting tunes, and let them carry you away.
  4. Learn something new: Learning a new skill or hobby can be a great way to give yourself purpose and feel more confident in your abilities.
  5. Think of the good times: Take some time to reflect back on the fond memories you've made throughout your life.
  6. Do something for someone else: Doing something kind for another person has been shown to increase feelings of happiness. Helping others can also give you a sense of purpose, essential for feeling content with life.
  7. Take breaks: Taking regular breaks throughout your day can help to alleviate stress and remind you that life is more than just work. Spend time doing something enjoyable, or take a few minutes for yourself to relax and breathe.

Final Thoughts

It's normal to feel anxious, overwhelmed, or down even when life is going great. But it's possible to find the happiness that we're all seeking—it just takes a bit of practice. Be kind and patient with yourself, and don't forget to take time for self-care. It may not happen overnight, but if you give your best effort each day, you'll eventually find the peace and contentment you've been looking for.

10 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. Olson EA, Kaiser RH, Pizzagalli DA, Rauch SL, Rosso IM. Anhedonia in trauma-exposed individuals: Functional connectivity and decision-making correlatesBiol Psychiatry Cogn Neurosci Neuroimaging. 2018;3(11):959-967. doi:10.1016/j.bpsc.2017.10.008

  2. Winer ES, Bryant J, Bartoszek G, Rojas E, Nadorff MR, Kilgore J. Mapping the relationship between anxiety, anhedonia, and depressionJ Affect Disord. 2017;221:289-296. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2017.06.006

  3. Bravata DM, Watts SA, Keefer AL, et al. Prevalence, predictors, and treatment of impostor syndrome: A systematic reviewJ Gen Intern Med. 2020;35(4):1252-1275. doi:10.1007/s11606-019-05364-1

  4. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Practicing gratitude works.

  5. Khazaee-Pool M, Sadeghi R, Majlessi F, Rahimi Foroushani A. Effects of physical exercise programme on happiness among older peopleJ Psychiatr Ment Health Nurs. 2015;22(1):47-57. doi:10.1111/jpm.12168

  6. Svoray T, Dorman M, Abu-Kaf S, Shahar G, Gifford R. Nature and happiness in an individualist and a collectivist culture. Sci Rep. 2022;12(1):7701. doi:10.1038/s41598-022-11619-5

  7. Rowland Z, Wenzel M, Kubiak T. A mind full of happiness: How mindfulness shapes affect dynamics in daily lifeEmotion. 2020;20(3):436-451. doi:10.1037/emo0000562

  8. Chang J, Zhang M, Hitchman G, Qiu J, Liu Y. When you smile, you become happy: Evidence from resting state task-based fMRIBiol Psychol. 2014;103:100-106. doi:10.1016/j.biopsycho.2014.08.003

  9. Putkinen V, Makkonen T, Eerola T. Music-induced positive mood broadens the scope of auditory attention. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2017;12(7):1159-1168. doi: 10.1093/scan/nsx038

  10. Rowland L, Curry OS. A range of kindness activities boost happinessJ Soc Psychol. 2019;159(3):340-343. doi:10.1080/00224545.2018.1469461

Arlin Cuncic

By Arlin Cuncic, MA
Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of The Anxiety Workbook and founder of the website About Social Anxiety. She has a Master's degree in clinical psychology.