Why Do People Bully?

Bullying is a behavior that has historically been linked to kids on the playground, but it can happen among people of any age in any setting—schools, households, workplaces. So the main question observers of such conduct have is...why do people bully others? 

The driving forces behind bullying may vary from person to person, but bullies share some common characteristics. For example, some people bully because they know that it gets them what they want, while others bully because they are deeply insecure. No matter the cause, bullying is unacceptable, regardless of where it takes place.

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is repeated unwelcome and hostile behavior long linked to power imbalances. Bullies often target people who are younger or smaller than they are, who work as their subordinates, or who belong to marginalized or minority groups.

Sometimes, envy motivates people to bully; individuals with personal traits, skills, relationships, or possessions that bullies want to possess themselves become targets.

Bullies victimize others by using tactics including:

• Intimidation
• Threats
• Insults
• Intentional exclusion
• Spreading rumors and lies

Bullying exists on a spectrum. Not all bullies resort to hitting or name-calling, as children are known to do. Sophisticated adult bullies may engage in smear campaigns against their targets rather than insult them to their faces. They might also enlist others to bully a target on their behalf. This is why some anti-bullying groups say that bullying isn’t always easy to define.

Understanding Why People Bully

There’s no one reason why people bully, but many people who engage in this conduct:

• Feel powerless
• Suffer from insecurity
• Need to control others
• Enjoy the rewards they get from bullying

For example, bullying a classmate might make a kid more popular, or bullying a worker might stop other employees from questioning management decisions. These outcomes show bullies that this conduct pays off.

Learned Behavior

Bullying is often a learned behavior. Young bullies might live in households where adults bully one another to get their way or deal with conflict. They might not know how else to get their needs met or how to manage disagreements.

Past Experiences

Some bullies have had temper tantrums to get their way since they were small children and were never told "no." Others were once bullied themselves and repeated the behavior to feel powerful. 

Individual Characteristics

Some supervisors bully their subordinates to deflect attention away from their incompetence. Other bullies believe their status entitles them to bully individuals of lower rank.

These bullies might also lack empathy, have narcissistic traits, or be emotionally unstable and dysregulated. Controlling and intimidating others helps them to feel better about themselves and self-soothe. 

Factors That Impact Bullying

Research has also shown that there are a variety of factors that can impact why people bully. Some of these include:

• Sex differences: While boys and girls are equally likely to be bullies, boys experience more physical bullying, while girls experience more verbal and indirect bullying.
• Age differences: Peer bullying tends to decrease as children age, but older kids are also more likely to experience online bullying.
• Differences: People who are perceived as different from the majority status group due to physical appearance, disability, race, nationality, color, immigration status, gender expression, or religion are more likely to experience bullying.
  

The Impact of Bullying 

Regardless of the causes, research suggests that bullying is a highly prevalent problem. Surveys have found that one in every three children has been the victim of bullying in the previous month.

Bullying is harmful not only to targets of this behavior but to bystanders and bullies themselves.

Effects on People Who Are Bullied

Targets of bullies may:

• Develop mental health problems like anxiety and depression
• Experience eating and sleeping changes
• Feel lonely and isolated
• Have suicidal thoughts
• Withdraw from activities they once enjoyed
• Miss days of school
• Drop out of school

Adults experiencing workplace bullying may increasingly call in sick from work. That’s why it’s essential to seek out a licensed mental health professional to work through the difficult emotions that arise in the wake of bullying. 

Effects on People Who Witness Bullying

Bystanders of bullying suffer, too. Young people who witness bullying are at increased risk of using illicit substances, tobacco, or alcohol. Like targets of bullies, they might also have more school absences and may develop mental health problems, especially anxiety and depression.

In addition, witnesses of bullying might feel guilty or ashamed for not intervening. In the workplace, observing bullying can lower morale and increase turnover rates.

Effects on Bullies

Bullies themselves experience the consequences of their actions. They, too, have an increased risk of substance use disorders and quitting school. In addition, they tend to have more physical fights, engage in sexual activity at younger ages, and enter the criminal justice system.

As adults, bullies are more likely to abuse their children and significant others. While workplace bullies might be able to move up the corporate ladder, they must contend with the low morale, decreased productivity, and high turnover rates their behaviors cause. They may also face workplace investigations, formal complaints, and lawsuits about their conduct. 

Action Against School Bullies

Protecting oneself against bullies typically requires effort and sacrifice. Youth who are being bullied might benefit from assertiveness training or self-defense classes, especially if they are physically bullied.

Family Actions

Families might also want to evaluate if any dynamics in the household contributed to their child becoming a target. For example, living in a household with authoritarian parents where children are punished for expressing their thoughts and needs makes it harder for youth to assert themselves and set boundaries with bullies. 

School Actions

Of course, the school environment also plays a role in preventing bullying or allowing it to spread. For instance, the families of targeted children might need to make arrangements with school staff to ensure that bullies don’t have access to them before and after school or between class periods.

Legal Actions

Taking legal action against the school or school district might be a possibility, too. This is certainly true if the bullied child is being targeted because of race, sexual orientation, disability, or another marginalized status.

The potential of lawsuits, bad press, and tragedies resulting from bullying is one reason school districts increasingly have anti-bullying programs. These initiatives educate the school community about bullying behaviors and urge bystanders, parents, and school staff to intervene.   

Online Bullying

In the 21st century, bullying is equally as likely to occur online as it is in person. If the bullying has spread to social media, families might need to do more than block their child’s bullies on these platforms.

Many of these platforms prohibit common cyberbullying tactics such as impersonation or harassment. It should also be possible to remove offensive videos and other content.   

Recourse for Adults Bullied At Work

Bullied adults can also take steps to protect themselves. If the bullying takes place at work, they should carefully document the behavior and determine if there’s a safe person to speak to about it. If the bully is an immediate supervisor or another higher-up, it might be harder to get results after reporting the bullying.

Unfortunately, targets of workplace bullies may find their jobs in danger after making such a complaint while their abusers remain protected. However, union workers typically have more options than workers without the protection of a union.

Looking for a New Job

Companies should take bullying seriously because it can drive the most conscientious and talented employees out of the workplace. If your workplace ignores or permits bullying, it is in your best interest to look for a new job.

If you’re financially able and your mental health is seriously suffering, you might need to leave without a new job lined up or try becoming a gig worker or independent contractor to make ends meet until more stable work arrives.  

When applying for jobs in the future, try to research the company beforehand. If the company always seems to be hiring and isn’t growing exponentially, it might be a hostile work environment with a revolving door of employees.

These could be planted reviews, as even workers who love their jobs typically admit that some areas of the company need improvement. Also, pay attention to how managers behave during the application process. It might not be a safe place to work if they are cold, pushy, inconsiderate, or evasive when you ask questions.