What Not to Do if You or a Friend Has Bipolar Disorder

If you or a friend have bipolar disorder, you might wonder how to support your health or what you can do to best support them as they deal with the ups and downs of their condition. Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes mood episodes that can affect a person's moods, thoughts, and behaviors.

Unfortunately, people with this condition often experience less social support and difficulties in social relationships, which can negatively impact the course of the condition. Knowing what to do to seek help and how to support your friend can positively impact functioning and the ability to cope.

Don't Avoid Talking About It

Research suggests that can take 10 to 15 years for people to be properly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. There are two big reasons for this. One is that ​doctors miss the diagnosis all too frequently, even when hypomanic symptoms are brought to their attention. The other is ​the failure of patients to report symptoms.

More often than not, it is depression symptoms that send people to see a psychiatrist or other therapist. People with the condition often sometimes view past hypomania symptoms as just "not depressed," "feeling like a normal person," or "feeling good."

When antidepressants are prescribed, a person may begin to tip too much in the other direction and begin experiencing mania or hypomania. When people don't share their symptoms with others or with their doctor, it is harder to recognize what's happening and get an appropriate diagnosis.

Don't Pretend There Isn't a Problem

People with bipolar disorder often have friends or family members who refuse to accept their diagnosis or refuse to learn anything about bipolar illness. Common responses include:

• "Oh, you're just trying to get attention"
• "Snap out of it, get a job, and quit whining"
• "If you only (prayed more, tried harder, ate more vegetables, etc.), you'd be fine"
• "I don't believe it"

Such responses end the conversation and deprive people of the support they need. Without such support, people might not stick with their treatment, or they may not turn to friends and loved ones when they need extra help.

Don't Discourage Medication Use

Unfortunately, sometimes friends and family members may discourage people from sticking to their treatment plan. Attitudes and beliefs about medication use can play a major role in whether people stick with their treatment plan. Research has also shown that negative attitudes from friends and family members about bipolar treatment lead to worse adherence and outcomes.

Unless a person has a severe side effect, they should never discontinue medications without their doctor's supervision. Abruptly stopping some medications can cause serious side effects, too. For example, the reaction many people experience when they discontinue certain antidepressants is so unpleasant it even has a name: SSRI discontinuation syndrome.

Don't Meddle With Medications

If you have bipolar disorder, it's important to take your medications exactly as prescribed by your doctor. Not following these directions can lead to unwanted side effects, dangerous interactions, and the return of mood symptoms.

Suppose you've been prescribed 150 milligrams of medication X, 30 milligrams of medication Y and 50 to 75 milligrams of medication Z per day. That means your doctor has given you permission to take from two to three 25-milligram tablets of drug Z in a day, depending on your judgment.

But you don't think that's enough, so you start taking 100 milligrams of drug Z or 60 milligrams of drug Y. Almost immediately, you start having side effects, have a mood change, or another problem occurs.

Don't Ignore Symptoms in Children

It's understandable that a parent may be uneasy about giving a bipolar child the types of strong medications that are needed to guide that child toward stability. Certainly, there are risks involved with these drugs, as there are with all prescription drugs. Remember that your child has a serious condition and that medication can greatly improve their ability to function.

Children with bipolar disorder often need special assistance at school. They can have trouble focusing, have anger issues, and be easily tormented by other children. Also, it's quite common for a bipolar child to have co-morbid attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and to take medications at school. You need to know your child's rights and implement the available programs.

Don't Minimize Symptoms

Avoid making comments that come across as dismissive or discouraging. If a person is experiencing symptoms of mania, don't dismiss it as "overreacting." And don't minimize their symptoms by saying that everyone has mood swings or that their symptoms "aren't that bad."

People with bipolar disorder are often subjected to considerable stigma, which can lead to feelings of shame and discourage them from seeking help when they need it. 

Don't Ignore Your Own Needs

Caring for a friend, family member, or other loved one who has bipolar disorder can be incredibly difficult. It can be all too easy to lose sight of your needs because you are so wrapped up in whatever is happening with your friend.

Remember that you can't provide the right support without taking care of yourself. This not only means making sure that your basic needs are met but also setting boundaries about your relationship and the type of support you are able to offer.

Keep in Mind

Bipolar disorder is a serious mental health condition that can lead to serious disruptions in a person's life, relationships, and ability to function. If you have a friend or loved one with this condition, encourage them to seek help and be willing to listen. 

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), you can be supportive by encouraging your friend to talk, listening to what they say, and being patient. Learn more about the condition, and remember that while your friend may experience mood swings, they can live well with the right treatment and support.