The Double-Edged Sword of Being Treated Differently After Losing the Weight

Losing weight can bolster confidence, but it can also impact how others treat you. Knowing how to manage relationships and social changes after weight loss is vital to protect your mental health as you navigate the maze of feelings associated with having a “new body.”

Taking a GLP-1 (Glucagon-like peptide-1) medication has the potential to impact your weight in profound and sometimes unexpected ways. These revolutionary drugs often provide rapid results that can make you slimmer within mere months. While having a smaller body can certainly help you feel more confident, there are also some downsides, namely, the way other people start to treat you in your everyday life.

A poll conducted by KFF Health found that approximately 4 in 10 adults who said they took GLP-1 medication did so primarily to lose weight. Although significant weight loss has plenty of positive benefits for your mental and physical health, there’s also a darker side to living in a smaller body.

Facing Fatphobia

If you’re overweight, there’s a high likelihood that you’ve been forced to deal with a social stigma called fatphobia at some point in your lifetime. This inherent bias from others has the potential to affect people throughout their entire lives. Sadly, fatphobia often starts in childhood and continues well into adulthood.

The “symptoms” of fatphobia vary depending on the person experiencing it, but it might include things like:

• being intentionally left out of social circles
• feeling ignored and unseen
• or even being mocked or made fun of privately and in public.

This awful, and quite frankly, immature behavior toward those who are overweight can have significant consequences on your mental health, and could even negatively affect your experiences when dealing with healthcare professionals.

Dr. Robert F Kushner, MD, a doctor and professor of medicine (endocrinology) at Northwestern Feinberg School of Medicine with a focus on nutrition and obesity, acknowledges that people with obesity deal with a range of social stigmas. “The stigmatization and discrimination of people who are overweight is rampant in health care, the media, and society at large,” he said. 

But what happens when you lose the weight and become smaller?

Dealing With “Skinny Privilege”

The term “skinny privilege” or “thin privilege” refers to instances where you’re treated differently (usually better) when you’re thin than you are when you’re overweight. Some examples of this unique form of privilege might include:

• More people offer to help you (i.e., hold the door for you, help you with groceries, etc.)
• It’s much easier to find clothes that fit your new body size
• You suddenly get hit on or asked out on dates more frequently
• People start to compliment you on more than just your weight, like your clothing, hairstyle, and other appearance-based attributes
• Your boss or other higher-ups praise you for being a hard worker or you’re offered a raise or promotion even though your job description or position hasn’t changed
• Coworkers, family members, or friends who used to ignore you are now vying for your attention
• It feels like people listen to you when you speak and/or look you in the eyes more often than they did before you lost weight
• People who once treated you cruelly have a sudden and noticeable change of heart 

Danielle Kelvas, MD, a doctor who specializes in treating eating disorders, writes, “Because society values thinness, people in smaller bodies may experience social benefits, like making friends more easily and accessing structural advantages.”

Managing Social Changes

Regardless of how you’ve lost weight, dealing with a brand-new world of unrealized relationships and social changes is challenging. It might even make you ask yourself, Do people only value me based on how I look? What about who I am as a human being on the inside?

It’s important to note that skinny privilege can impact anyone regardless of their status or background. Omar Bazza, a Toronto-based clinical therapist, lost 45 kilograms or nearly 100 pounds and documented his experience. He wrote, “As I lost weight, somehow, people started seeing me as more competent and more hard-working, which was not true at all, given that I had to reduce my workload to better care for myself. People started engaging in conversations more and wanting me to be around.”

Self-Care Strategies for Coping

Fortunately, you can proactively dismantle the difficulties you may face while dealing with this double-edged sword of being thinner while also being treated differently than you were before.

Focus on Self-Love

Caring for yourself as a whole human being, not just your outward appearance, is vital before and after weight loss. Regardless of how people treat you now, only you have the power to determine your worth. Self-love and self-care are always important, but it’s particularly important now. Remind yourself that you’re worthy of love and respect all the time regardless of your size.

Don’t Engage

If someone is body-bashing another person, do everything you can to avoid joining that discussion. Even better, situations like this allow you to be an advocate for someone else (only if you feel comfortable taking a stand and speaking out). It’s also crucial to avoid body-bashing yourself and focus on your accomplishments and how far you’ve come instead.

Most importantly, accepting compliments from others about your weight loss in a way that redirects the focus on your hard work or yourself as a person rather than your appearance and size alone is key. This simple shift in mindset reminds others that your weight loss is much more than just shedding pounds – it’s also about your strength, determination, and resilience.

Avoid Harmful Media Narratives

From social media influencers to movie stars, society and the media tell us why we should perceive someone as beautiful and why we shouldn’t. Fashion magazines, TV shows, and even music can influence the way people view each other in real life.

This nonstop barrage of media creates harmful stigmas centered around weight. It’s best to avoid consuming this type of media if you want to cope with this complicated aspect of weight loss more effectively. Focus on friends and family, your career, a fun hobby, or how you can help others instead. 

Make Your Physical Health a Priority

Whether you’re still on a weight loss journey or you’re happy with your results, keeping your physical health at the top of your list of priorities should always be the focus. Listen to your body and make sure you’re getting vital nutrients from whole foods, plenty of good sleep, and adequate exercise. The healthier your body is, the healthier your mind will be, too.

Moving Ahead in a New Body

Being treated differently after losing weight is tough, but it’s not impossible to deal with. Ultimately, only you can determine your self-worth and how you perceive yourself. Shift your focus on what’s most important to you, and do your best to block out negative influences as you try to navigate a new world as a thinner person.

Dr. Matthea Rentea, MD, an internist and obesity specialist, sums it up beautifully: “Every day you get to decide who you want to be.”